Resistance to inevitable change is a common source of suffering. Making a conscious commitment to acceptance can help you to reduce the resistance you embody every day. It can also raise your awareness of how and when you resist change.
Accept not just the truth that a breakup has occurred. Accept how you felt about the relationship from beginning to end. Accept the people you both were and the people you are now. Accept how you’ve changed or failed to change. Accept the pain that comes with vulnerability and need to remain vulnerable to grow. Accept your mistakes and their consequences. Accept your loss.
Feelings are often like clouds. If you run away from them, they may follow you for longer. If you sit with them, they will pass. Accept your clouds. They are impermanent.
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I am trying to learn to sit with rejection, look it square in the face, and still be okay.
Running away from painful things — shame, rejection, disappointments with myself or others — and not facing them has been a source of even worse pain and dysfunction.
Balancing these two things: "that really hurts" and "it does not define me" seems to be a healthier way to process.
Sep 25, 2024
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I’m beginning to make peace with them
Jun 21, 2024
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The older I get the more interested I am in being a gracious loser. It's so easy to feel good when everything is going right, but how do I feel when things go wrong? Like, this morning I found out I didn't get an interview for a job I really wanted. It nearly ruined my entire day, which is crazy (!) because there's some many other things for me to be excited about. I just needed to take a second to sit with my feelings and really process everything.
The sky isn't falling, but it's cute you thought that.
Apr 8, 2024
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She says there’s a tornado watch, and I shrug it off as I turn another page to my book. I just want to be reminded of what used to be real for a while before I join her to bed. I have 90 minutes before the dreams take me back for what I owe them.
In the meantime, I’m with Ultra and Andy. I’m back in a place where the shitty instant movies meant something, not because they inherently meant something, but because a soup can was empty enough for the public to carry. Carry it they would, with enough means to make Ultra regret her own full stomach. The cans she had Andy sign could’ve funded her retirement, but the Factory was hungry. I’ve yet to create my food art that gets people interested in my shit movies.
The wind starts growling against the windows in a way I haven’t heard in the decade I’ve lived here. The rain sounds sideways. I wake her from the bathroom as the wind has caught me on a break, and the living room is more window than wall. We’ve taken to sleeping on an air mattress in the living room floor by the windows. It was lovely under the tree in December, but now there’s no hiding why.
It feels too real for a moment. I ask her to double check the radar. She says it’s fine, and she goes back to sleep. She already has me put on rain sounds with another apartment view on the TV nightly, though I don’t think either of us would have heard a difference had I turned it off now. Andy believed we would prefer the simulation. I‘m afraid he may be right. I’m afraid because I can’t control the one with a remote. Yes, that’s usually true, but for the moment I’m more afraid of the one outside my actual window that has no remote. Pontificating about simulacra or not, I’m afraid.
As the storm starts to calm, the red light hitting my blinds from the LEDs is flashing. A fire truck is outside my window. Are these red lights more real, more meaningful? Do they make my fear more meaningful? The fire truck leaves (me).
My 90 minutes have become 3 hours. My debt is greater. I can’t hide, and I’m afraid. It’s time to pay. I’ll simulate another violent death, wake up, and feel a little less convinced I’m about to be killed again since we’re in the living room. The lights help me see less of what isn’t there. I can see the front door bar intact with my own eyes. I’m safe enough to die in my sleep again. Good morning.
Feb 16, 2025
concise, upbeat indie folk. This particular track has a popular form and progression.
6d ago