Iāve lost distant family members, patients, friends, etc., but Iāve never lost someone so close to me. I cried over everything and nothing and wished to feel anything but emptiness and loss. I laughed over memories and smiled at the sunset over a lake. I flew to GA just to feel the emptiness in person. Yetā¦I canāt help but feel happiness for knowing her voice, her love, her joy, her kindness, her unrelenting stubbornness. For seeing where she made her mark and who/where she made it in. Grief is weird and Iāll never not feel that void, but I hope I can grow to live and be comfortable with it.