đŸ§˜â€â™‚ïž
when i worked at the Apple Store / Genius Bar in college, we were trained on "assuming positive intent" from customers and peers. at the time, when i was a shithead 20-year-old, i thought this phrase was such bullshit. of course i can tell when someone has malicious intent, why not respond in kind! but now that i'm a bit older, i've realized the real wisdom behind the idea "assume positive intent" is that, when faced with interpersonal conflict, it's better to take the path of least resistance and keep your cool. for example, if i'm getting kind of annoyed with someone at work and i want to write a snarky email, i find it best to walk away from the keyboard and write my response when i'm feeling less activated. the result is that i can feel good about how i handle my feelings, i reflect better on other people, and i'm being an actual grown up. ;~)
Feb 19, 2025

Comments (2)

Make an account to reply.
image
as a sensitive person i should implement this often :o good advice
Feb 23, 2025
image
thinking this way is genuinely life changing
Feb 19, 2025

Related Recs

❔
I was going through the Ignatian approach to education today (adapted from the Spiritual Exercises for those keeping track at home) and this tenet is just so good. St. Ignatius says that a person, “ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it.Further, if one cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If the meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; if this is not enough, one should search out every  appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved.” This is very Hanlon’s razor (never attribute to malice what you can attribute to stupidity/ignorance) and I just feel like having a curious posture like this is a major slay and makes us better people
Mar 7, 2024
♄
I'm sure there's an actual name for this but I'm blanking on it at the moment. I try to live under the idea that we're all one being. That in everybody is a piece of me, and in me a piece of everyone else. I guess it's like an extrapolation of 'the golden rule'. But I think to myself like, if I was being ignorant, I'd want someone to have a conversation with me and help me understand where I was wrong. If I was having a bad day and was visibly frustrated in line, I'd want to have someone stop and ask me how I was doing. I think most negative people are just hurt. The longer you go without talking about what's bothering you, the more bitter you get. Most people, no matter how they're acting, change when you ask them if they're ok. Most of the time (I'll admit, there's some exceptions lol) its better to be sympathetic rather than defensive. It's easy to get heated but it takes a lot of patience to really try to understand. Stranger or not, I do my best to help rather than provoke. We've all got our bad days, but that doesn't mean we aren't deserving of compassion.
Jan 28, 2025
♓
I am able to see everything as multifaceted. I know there are more than two sides to the same coin, and I believe things shouldn’t be approached as they appear. being able to recognize this has made me a more understanding person. I’m still a hater to my core, and I still make snap judgements about people cutting me off in traffic or being rude to me in the grocery store and the like, but as someone who works in customer service, it has helped me not take everything so personally. Someone snapping at me, or asking a lot of questions that may seem obvious isn’t necessarily a pock on their character. Someone may be having a bad day, or is really tired, or high, or just hasn’t been here and they are overwhelmed because everything is new and different. I am also able to avoid spiraling about my personal relationships because it really is not about me all the time. And even if/when it is about me, it most likely not malicious. A lot of people have anxieties they don’t recognize actively, but they still act on them. And that is okay. We are all people, we all fuck up, and we all keep living.

Top Recs from @gaucheries