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I was going through the Ignatian approach to education today (adapted from the Spiritual Exercises for those keeping track at home) and this tenet is just so good.
St. Ignatius says that a person, “ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it.Further, if one cannot interpret it favorably, one should ask how the other means it. If the meaning is wrong, one should correct the person with love; if this is not enough, one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved.”
This is very Hanlon’s razor (never attribute to malice what you can attribute to stupidity/ignorance) and I just feel like having a curious posture like this is a major slay and makes us better people
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when i worked at the Apple Store / Genius Bar in college, we were trained on "assuming positive intent" from customers and peers. at the time, when i was a shithead 20-year-old, i thought this phrase was such bullshit. of course i can tell when someone has malicious intent, why not respond in kind! but now that i'm a bit older, i've realized the real wisdom behind the idea "assume positive intent" is that, when faced with interpersonal conflict, it's better to take the path of least resistance and keep your cool.
for example, if i'm getting kind of annoyed with someone at work and i want to write a snarky email, i find it best to walk away from the keyboard and write my response when i'm feeling less activated.
the result is that i can feel good about how i handle my feelings, i reflect better on other people, and i'm being an actual grown up. ;~)
Feb 19, 2025
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I try to remember this a lot when I’m frustrated with people. Nobody is out to get you. Others are thinking about themselves most of the time anyway. Communication is so important- people can’t meet expectations if you don’t make them known.
Oct 4, 2024
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I’ve been working on trying to resist internet pile-ons, and not in a contarian for contrarian’s sake way. I think it’s more interesting to find out what’s actually happening and search for context and perspective. There’s usually a lot more to each story and it leads to more interesting ideas and conversations. Allowing for more empathy and forgiveness toward others also ultimately leads to more grace for yourself when you make a mistake. Sometimes people are jerks and sometimes people say the wrong thing and sometimes people run with something without understanding what someone is actually saying. I’m resolving to look for nuance first before assuming the worst.
Mar 20, 2024
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I gotta know what happens!!!
Feb 10, 2025
Like look at this shit. Just kinda sick tbh. The Eastern church invented maximalism which is just very slay for them (even if you aren't into God or whatever I feel like you can enjoy old buildings with tons of art everywhere)
Feb 2, 2024
Someone enjoying something you don’t like or think is cringe but isn’t hurting anyone? Let them! It’s such a saver of energy to just let people like things
This little comic panel is on constant loop in my mind and it’s improved my life.
Feb 21, 2024