I'm not really into stoic, mysterious types. I find them intriguing for plot purposes but I've always landed sweethearts. Which is why I'm still friends with all my exes, because they were genuinely good people and we always looked out for each other. What I find sexy is competence. The ability to do whats needed when asked or without being asked. The ability to create solutions to problems and support with confidence. LLOOOVVEEE a competent partner.
Feb 27, 2025
Related Recs
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romantic gestures (grand or small, whatever you’re into) balanced with honesty, understanding, acceptance, patience, communication and trust. compromise is important too but within reason! you shouldn’t compromise to the point where you lose yourself or feel like you’re settling for the sake of love and the person you love shouldn’t want that either. also, a lot of people want to be in a relationship for the sake of company and companionship and fail to see the other as their own person. so have standards, even if that means you won’t be in a relationship right away. love means being able to be an individual and appreciated as such. love should not be your identity, your identity should be present in how you love. i don’t know i have a very practical but fantastical approach…maybe it’s my taurus venus. personally i fancy a little fun and humor as well. if i can’t be silly with my lover i don’t want it.
May 14, 2024
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For me this means having a support network/being proactive about mental health, following through on my word, asking for clarity, getting tested for STI’s, and just generally being a certified lover girl
Feb 26, 2025
now i am a very lucky person because i am in love with some who was once one of my best friends. (sadly this rec probably isn’t universally applicable but contains good lessons i hope!) i’d met him during the first week of freshman year of college, and we immediately became close. hung out a ton and related on a lot of issues/values but our interactions were always platonic.
by wintertime we were being seen together around campus a ton, to the point that our acquaintances started asking whether we were a couple. we’d laugh at the idea, even joking about it ourselves. oh how oblivious we were.
spring rolled around and i suddenly caught feelings. for a couple weeks i tried to convince myself i didn’t like him because i was so afraid of losing our beautiful friendship. i thought it impossible that he would feel the same as me. yes, pretty torturous!! alas, my Emotional Suppression didn’t work. thank god, because one night when we were hanging out in my room he finally kissed me. i had been so afraid but instantly i knew it was right. the risk was worth it.
we’ve now been together for almost two years and he is truly the love of my life. he is the best risk I’ve ever taken. yes this is so platitudinous, but sometimes love comes when you least expect it and appears in odd places!
more generally, i think
- looking for people whose values align with yours is a wonderful place to start establishing intimate and long-lasting relationships, both platonic and romantic.
- it’s never worthwhile to force something to work out if your gut tells you it’s wrong — you’re worth more than that. love doesn’t thrive when it’s fed by obligation and pressure.
- don’t be afraid to present yourself in your full authenticity to others. if someone else has a problem with You in your Grandest Expression, they’re not worth your energy. love is meant to affirm and expand who you are, not place boundaries on it.
- go on self dates and explore what it means to have a loving relationship with yourself! you, as a singular self, are already whole and enough without having a partner. you are complete as a baseline regardless of your relationship status; a partner is meant to complement and embrace this wholeness!!
love is ridiculous and hard and beautiful; trust it when you feel it!!
Nov 10, 2024
Top Recs from @solailevaomaoa
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my partner often remarks about my "freudian thoughts" wherein which i forget other people have different lives from me. case in point: while shopping for the holidays, i saw birthday party supplies and said "wow, they really put out the birthday stuff early this year" (my birthday is in march). sorry sagitrariuses (sagittari?)
Jan 23, 2025
Recently bought this vase I love and put some irises in it and I'm obsessed with how it looks. I kept glancing over to look at them all day. Happiness really is in things like this <3
Feb 27, 2025
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I've finished five books so far - my favorite of them being The Martian by Andy Weir (he's a genius! i recc all his books!) and Legends and Lattes by Travis Baltree (very cozy core)
Jan 23, 2025