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Mar 3, 2025
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I let go of friendship that was like this. I can’t imagine how much more soul eroding a romantic relationship like this would be. I’d send her things that reminded me of her or links to topics that she’s talked about being interested in before (not spammy by any means!), or life stuff I’m dealing with, my dad actively dying, some bit of joy or whimsy I found, and she was like “dude. can’t you just say the shit you say in one sentence without the cringe. like you’re too much sometimes lololol”
oh. okay. the walls of your vent texts that I gladly read and replied to, supported you through about your relationship troubles was fair game, but I’m bein’ a weirdo if I do the same
I said “okay. I’ll try and be more succinct.”
didn’t send her anything for two weeks and she starts sending me messages about her boyfriend being a prick again, didn’t ask about my dad at all
silence is pretty succinct I reckon
softshelled omg! i'm so sorry, friend, that's so devastating. unfortunately some people are so caught up in themselves that they have no idea how their actions affect others... you are way better off without her in your orbit. silence is succinct!!! i hope you're doing okay given your circumstances and know you have a whimsical group here to confide in <3
abbyscrabbypatty I’m doing okay now! Much *much* better than I was, not having people who made me feel insane for seeking compassion and frivolity anymore, thank ya kindly (:
softshelled Life’s a struggle, but a joy, and frankly absurd sometimes, I look for folks I can share all of it in, the mundane wonderment of the human condition y’know
This is a part of why I got divorced. Getting married in the first place was a low self esteem decision. But I grew and healed and realized that my happiness actually matters. I didn’t want my partner sucking the joy out of the rest of my life. I got tired of hearing “that’s dumb” and “who cares” about all the little beautiful things I’d notice every day. Then I saw a video of Jenifer Lewis telling a story about dumping a guy because he was dismissive about a pretty tree she saw. That helped give me the courage to leave.
regularcucumber I’m so sorry you went through that, glad you were able to realise your worth and that your happiness in life is important. I’m going to check out that video, thank you (:
regularcucumber your happiness absolutely does matter!!! i think (at least i feel this definitely for myself) that we can water ourselves down to feel love and validation in romantic entanglements. who doesn't want to be loved and desired? but it's not worth sacrificing something so vital to who you are as a person! i'm glad you had the courage to get out of there, and one day you will find a love where you can fully be yourself <3
the rage that this sort of thing fills me with is so immense as to be inarticulable. the damage that even one whimsyless malcontent can inflict on the world is so massive, and the healing process required to repair it is so arduous. millions walk the earth believing that they’re broken for seeing the beauty in it. it’s maddening
dotmatrices whimsy and joy are balms to the soul!! to disregard that or, worse,
gleefully mock it? man, that’s actually heartbreaking
dotmatrices this is so well said!!! it is totally maddening. in a world where so much seems to be going wrong, finding the daily magic is truly one of the only things we can do to make it through!! and it's a shame so many are too close-minded to see that
