this has probably been rec'd before but even though i am horribly sad i am also deliriously happy to have met someone so amazing and connected to someone more deeply than i ever really have before, even if for a short time. it's like the priests speech in fleabag when he says "when you find someone you love it feels like hope" , i think that's what it felt like meeting this person, like hope. seeing so many of the most human parts of myself that i often dislike most about myself reflected in another person, and seeing it all as beautiful, and learning that the weird or embarrassing little things that you think only you have experienced have actually been experienced by someone else too. It seemed to happen so quickly and I thought maybe I was crazy, but maybe it was just part of the natural progression of us, like how some flower species might pollinate faster than others. and now i see their name and the things i learned from the relationship everywhere. It’s like in elementary school when you learn a new word, like “Boat,” and suddenly boats seem to appear everywhere, where before the concept of a boat would’ve just been a distant floating speck or an invisible blankness