love is beautiful. love is pure. love is enduring.
iām not sure if my standards for love are too high, but i worry i donāt mean it. iād change my character, overcome weaknesses for those i say it to, yet it never feels like enough. i want to embrace someone not only through touch, but through the warmth of my actions and presence.
love knows no bounds. i want to break every single wall a person can put up. still, i know there are limits to love. love is undefinedāit is not a singular, universal concept for every person. i fear i can never truly portray my love for another without everything crashing down, whether due to the walls weāve built to shield ourselves from the world or to passing circumstances.
maybe iām not concerned about my feelings for others. maybe the words āi love youā donāt quite serve me justice. still, from this new perspective, itās an affectionate, enkindling acknowledgement to give anotherāakin to kissing your loved one on the cheek each morning before leaving for work.
love: a word that can be used for anyone, whether platonically or romantically. we really should say these words shamelessly to those around us every day. itās a marvel to think over what true love means to you and how it can vary from person to person. i think this is what makes it beautiful.
your idea of love will fit into anotherās idea of love. i hope everyone who reads this is lucky enough to find that person they mesh together with.^^
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This is so beautiful š I find that my love is most naturally shown through my actions. Iāll fold the laundry or give a gift and itās in these things that I feel love towards those close to me. Itās the phrase āI love youā itself that Iām trying to get better acquainted with. Your writing is beautiful by the way!!
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On one hand: it just flows. You can't get enough of them. Your eyes, their eyesācould be the only thing that matters in the whole world. Their voice hits you like electricity. When alone, you wonder why you aren't with them. Mundane things, at their side, become adventures. You occupy your own universe that is a secret from all others.
And on the other hand: it is a labor. Your beloved, who stirs and ignites your affection so much, is also the one who most exposes your pride and weaknesses. As you dive into them and truly know them, you discover they are broken and selfish and human. And they discover that about you. The easy slide down the snowy hill of excitement becomes a long drag back up the other side.
But then the two of you put those parts together: combine the thrill and the sparkle with the messiness and the suffering. Your together love becomes something deeper and more enduring. You say: I see you fully but I choose you still, with all my heart and soul.
It becomes something that will withstand any storms that may come, something more mature and tested:
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." āAntoine de Saint-Exupery:
Mar 1, 2025
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
now i am a very lucky person because i am in love with some who was once one of my best friends. (sadly this rec probably isnāt universally applicable but contains good lessons i hope!) iād met him during the first week of freshman year of college, and we immediately became close. hung out a ton and related on a lot of issues/values but our interactions were always platonic.
by wintertime we were being seen together around campus a ton, to the point that our acquaintances started asking whether we were a couple. weād laugh at the idea, even joking about it ourselves. oh how oblivious we were.
spring rolled around and i suddenly caught feelings. for a couple weeks i tried to convince myself i didnāt like him because i was so afraid of losing our beautiful friendship. i thought it impossible that he would feel the same as me. yes, pretty torturous!! alas, my Emotional Suppression didnāt work. thank god, because one night when we were hanging out in my room he finally kissed me. i had been so afraid but instantly i knew it was right. the risk was worth it.
weāve now been together for almost two years and he is truly the love of my life. he is the best risk Iāve ever taken. yes this is so platitudinous, but sometimes love comes when you least expect it and appears in odd places!
more generally, i think
- looking for people whose values align with yours is a wonderful place to start establishing intimate and long-lasting relationships, both platonic and romantic.
- itās never worthwhile to force something to work out if your gut tells you itās wrong ā youāre worth more than that. love doesnāt thrive when itās fed by obligation and pressure.
- donāt be afraid to present yourself in your full authenticity to others. if someone else has a problem with You in your Grandest Expression, theyāre not worth your energy. love is meant to affirm and expand who you are, not place boundaries on it.
- go on self dates and explore what it means to have a loving relationship with yourself! you, as a singular self, are already whole and enough without having a partner. you are complete as a baseline regardless of your relationship status; a partner is meant to complement and embrace this wholeness!!
love is ridiculous and hard and beautiful; trust it when you feel it!!
Nov 10, 2024
