I'm also someone who doesn't like texting very much, but understand that it might be the only way you can communicate with some people.
I think you did the most important thing which is communicate your patterns of behavior and boundaries. About their behavior you might want to consider that they might still text despite you desire to be alone without expecting you to answer immediately and understand that you will take your time - I do have friends that prefer to do this, but! If that brings you stress you can address that, and find a new middle ground.
But I’m just making an assumption without the full picture, if you genuinely does not feel safe and comfortable it's very reasonable to take a distance. You might want to be open about that just so they don't expect the same behavior from you, but I understand that can be very very difficult, specifically if they have a pattern of not listening to you.
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idk about other phones but if u have an iphone they have all kinds you can turn on and just make sure it’s set to show people you’re on dnd. then if they go to text you they’ll see you’re working/taking personal time/etc. i have the one set up for work hours, one for therapy and yoga, sleep, i also put them on when i am doing my something else (painting, cooking, movie) and don’t want to be bothered. IMO you don’t really have to announce it and it also may not go over well if you tell people their texts drive you crazy — it might just be better left unsaid. (unless you’re getting spammed with like ten calls in a row then you probably should) i think eventually they’ll just adjust to you not being reachable 24/7. (just don’t ghost people for a bunch of days if they ask you an important question lol) i used to feel obliged to respond to everything ASAP and i’m still mostly a “good texter” but i don’t feel the need to interrupt things to respond to texts or text abt something non-time sensitive if i’m not in a mood to (outside my mom lol, i always answer her the same day) and i think most people in my life understand that bc i just am not reachable 24/7 and have that boundary. i don’t know if you can just stop people texting you a lot but i think if you reshape your response time they will have to adjust/come to terms with that
Nov 19, 2024
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okay i got some really amazing advice from fellow piffers a few weeks back when i was drowning with texts AND felt like a dick for telling my friends and family that getting their messages made me want to kms lol. but being honest about how i felt is super helpful so i don’t become a ball of rage. usually in a more gentle way, but being honest that texting isn’t a great way to connect with me is v important to foregrounding my relationships nowadays.
do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someone’s messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee.
still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rn… i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
Nov 19, 2024
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I’ve been the worst at texting throughout my entire life and even still part of me resents the idea that I should be available for constant communication (but I tell her to shut up because I do actually enjoy connecting with my friends all of whom live far away).
I had a new friend who would text me constantly and at first I thought it was annoying but eventually I got used to it (then I went back to thinking it was really annoying but that was a her being annoying problem). I became really good at texting back and now I’m the person who assaults my friends who tell me they want to get better at texting with regular text messages.
I stopped interacting with my friends as much through our weird obscure social media app and started just texting them directly. When I think about someone or if there’s something I think they need to hear from me I text them! I’m also in a very high-volume group chat with two of my best friends. It’s something that I think only gets better with constant practice and action and intention!
I also think it’s worth just setting clear boundaries around text communication that sometimes or even oftentimes you are not going to respond right away. People know that I’m pretty busy and I’ll talk to them when I have time. And I make good use of heart/thumbs up/exclamation point reacts to show that I’m paying attention without replying ASAP. And try schedule sending texts if you don’t want to text right away and have to deal with more replies lol!
Also sometimes if I don’t feel like typing I send my friends voice messages and we often end up in a chain of voice messages from there like role playing executives and employees at a factory in the Deep South that explodes and devastates the town and then being the newscasters covering the story and then being waitresses and patrons at Merlotte’s from True Blood gossiping about it. Or whatever.
Oct 19, 2024
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One of the things I like the most about Pi.fyi and the current scale of users is that it's still noticeable when a rec was inspired by another.
Sometimes the rec directly mentions the other, but other times you can kinda assume that reading an especific thing here triggered a memory or an ideia.
It's very cute and interesting to notice the small influences interacting with other humans online can have.
Feb 11, 2025
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Hold up, I gotta check my inventory for advill.
Feb 5, 2025
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