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starving doesn't work: logic based approach

your hair falls out. your teeth get yellow and fucked up. your nails weaken and get ugly. you get super cold all the time. your energy gets so low that everyday tasks become extremely difficult. and you gain all the weight back anyway and then it's ten times harder to lose because you fucked over your metabolism or you die. i'm speaking from experience. i have starved and i have done crazy shit and i always just gained all of it back. and when i was starving i was so miserable and it just doesn't work long term. that is harsh but the truth. i'm not going to tell you to not care about the way you look. because everyone cares about that. but the number on the scale is literally irrelevant. you can have two ppl w the exact same weight that look completely different. you yourself can be the same exact weight at different times and look totally different due to muscle/fat ratio. since you say you've let go of the emotional i'm going to keep this advice strictly logical. when you starve yourself, you trick your body into thinking its in survival mode and then it holds onto fat and lowers your metabolism. you get pushed in a cyclical nature of losing weight and gaining it all back and it gets harder and harder. it doesn't work, has never worked, and just makes you ugly and sad. the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to stop being scared of calories and instead eat the right ones and the right amount. if you want to fix your metabolism you have to understand calories as a fuel source not as something to be deducted. calories are simply energy. in order to limit your hunger and build muscle, you need enough energy from the right sources. you need a good combination of protein, fiber, and carbs. you don't need to be perfect lol like i personally dont measure shit bc it's overwhelming and too much work, so just prioritize protein and try to fit in fiber and carbs here and there. the reason i say to prioritize protein is because that's what builds muscle. building muscle is important even if you don't care about working out because muscle burns fat. when you have more muscle, your metabolism increases and you can eat more because the muscle literally burns the fat and needs more energy (calories). fiber is important for many health reasons: cholesterol, heart health, bowel movements etc. but since you're still in an ED mindset, the biggest thing for you is that it keeps you full. foods that are high in fiber keep you full for a very very long time. so you can stay in a reasonable caloric deficit without feeling extremely hungry. carbs. carbs are not your enemy at all. carbs are the body's main fuel source. they give you quick ready to use energy. it also prevents the proteins in your body from being used for energy. so when the body is looking for energy, instead of breaking down the proteins that you want to keep to build muscle the body will use the carbs instead. energy is important because it's what you can use to exercise and live your life. so, prioritize protein and have a mix of the other two. i think calorie counting can be very triggering and it's easy to get really restrictive with it. so what i did was i had a protein goal (calculated based off my weight) and a fiber goal. i also drink a lot of water and just tried to eat smaller portions. my main issue was i hate food waste and feel a lot of guilt about it. so it's better for me to just start with a smaller plate and add more if im hungry. speaking of hunger, this next step is essential. listen to your hunger. do NOT ignore it. if you are hungry, eat. if you are not, don't. that was the hardest thing for me to do because i always took being hungry as a sign of being skinny. but it completely fucked up my hunger signals and made everything way more difficult. when you are hungry, eat something but just be intentional about what you eat. eat something high in fiber or high in protein. it will tell your body that you aren't in starvation mode and that it is okay to let go of fat. protein bars, yogurts, and fruits are amazing for this. if you continue to not eat when you're hungry then you're fucked. you also don't want to over eat. sometimes when i was stressed or bored, i knew i wasn't hungry but i ate anyway and just made sure to eat something super low calorie. thats a Mistake. because now my body thinks i needed more food and is going to adjust accordingly. so please, this is the way to healing your relationship with food and understanding that you aren't fighting against your body you need to work WITH it. next essential step: trust the process. you have to learn patience and find love in discipline. if you eat the right kinds of foods, listen to your hunger and move your body regularly (literally just walking is so good for weight loss) you Will lose weight. there is so much love in taking care of yourself. there is so much warmth in the discipline of deciding to be good to yourself. you have to get used to slow results because you need to fall in love with the process in order to keep it sustainable. fall in love with the process and the results will come. please trust that. it's what changed my life and how i lost 15 pounds and kept it off after 4 years of back and forth disordered eating losing weight and gaining it back. you also need to remember that your body's purpose isn't to fit a specific standard it's to literally keep you alive. your body is doing it's best every day to keep you alive. once you understand that and feel true gratitude for that, you will really love the process of working with your body. i have lots of emotional advice i can give but the main logical takeaways: - starving doesnt work - stop being scared of calories - protein, fiber, carbs - listen to your hunger cues - trust the process - patience and love is everything. specifics: proteins: meats, tofu, eggs, greek yogurt, lentils, almonds, cottage cheese, black beans, broccoli, cauliflower fiber: avocado, oats, raspberries, artichoke, pears, apples, strawberries, kiwis etc. othe grains too carbs: bread, pasta, rice, lentils, chickpeas, etc. let me know if you have any specific questions. sending you all my love, i know this is a difficult thing to get through. sending you love and care and patience and strength 💓

@katialisa

Jul 11, 2024

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Fasting / Not Eating

Food is one of the worst things for you. For most of the summer, I was having a large smoothie with whey protein isolate, egg yolks, powdered coconut oil, and frozen berries. Only for the past several days (I’m recovering from SARS COV-2) have I abandoned this highly caloric, insulin-bomb of a breakfast, replacing it with cold water, creatine, and powdered coconut oil, blended. You wouldn’t believe how much sharper I feel mentally, how much less hungry I am all morning, my neighbors have stopped complaining about my outbursts… the list goes on and on.  Oh, but back to food being bad for you. I really do think eating a ton of food is one of the worst things for you. You can read about this in my book, in which the protagonist, in an attempt to gain weight and become physically more imposing, starts eating a ton of food, and his quality of life suffers greatly. It’s a really clever commentary on masculinity and “improvement culture” in general, actually. You should read it.  I too have gone through periods of regimented physical activity (lifting weights) and eating large quantities of food, and it always leaves me feeling terrible, physically and mentally. Lately I’ve started eating huge portions of vegetables again (bag of Brussels sprouts, bag broccoli, two large zucchini) in the middle of the day and it’s been working out really nicely for me. Skin cleared up, mind feels sharp, face looks more chiseled and handsome, it’s been great.  You (the reader) should probably eat less food, just like, statistically, most people eat too much. I know that might not be true for the target audience of this newsletter, so if you have an eating disorder then you should eat a little bit more (but not too much too fast), but most people should eat less food and replace some of the food they’re already eating with more vegetables. They’ll experience great benefits from eating their first meal as a large bowl of vegetables with ghee around 2pm. 

@matthewdavis

STAFF

Oct 7, 2024

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Skinny marg

They taste so good but I wish they didn’t have “skinny” in the name. The eating disorder vibes are NOT cool.

@chlonline

Feb 3, 2024

Top Recs from @allie

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Voice Memos

My favorite mode of communication with my besties. A phone call without the phone call. A conversation without having to listen to someone else in real time. A safer, more private way to talk shit. If you aren’t volleying voice-memos back and forth between your lovers and friends, I suggest starting now and without warning. If they text you back, send them a voice-memo in response. Eventually, they will cave and start voice-memoing too. If you need an excuse for why you refuse to text, blame carpal tunnel or long press on nails.

@allie

Nov 16, 2022

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Truly Iced Tea

If, like me, you sometimes find it difficult to stay out until the early morning hours, partying, hosting literary salons, and maintaining a genial persona, consider foregoing Adderall and cocaine in favor of Truly Iced Tea. It has a healthy amount of caffeine in it, zero sugar, enough alcohol to get you loose but not sloppy, and can be purchased at most Duane Reade and CVS drugstores. Every flavor is good, but I especially enjoy a can of classic lemon.

@allie

Nov 16, 2022

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Press on nails

For years I dutifully visited the salon every two weeks to paint and fill long acrylic nails that were difficult to type with, expensive and prone to fungus. Then, COVID hit. I started going to pool parties at my friend Jamie Nelson’s house, saw her luxe red talons, impervious to salon closures, and learned the secret: press on nails. They look like a full set but are cheap, long lasting, easy to apply and easy to remove when you want to do human things like type your novel or pick up a penny. I’ve tried some fun ones on Etsy but find the best quality nails are made by the brand Kiss and are widely available anywhere basic self-care sundries are sold.

@allie

Nov 16, 2022