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it requires too much mental energy to stop them or make them go away - just let it happen. the shame will fade away.
i unfortunately haven’t been able to shake an ex. i also haven’t been able to shake the mean version of me telling me i’m not doing enough or i’m an imposter for idk maybe my entire adult life? i convince myself of an entirely unbased lie at least once a day. today’s was that i have somehow committed tax fraud even though i know i didn‘t. it’s quite funny actually to just let them roll off the brain and see what your anxious little neurons come up with 🤪
Apr 9, 2024
Related Recs
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on confronting traumatic moments revolving around embarrassment or shame:
when i was like 14 in chorus class we were all required to do a solo performance. singjng is my biggest insecurity and i completely shut down any time i have to actually perform. needless to say, this was the epitome of that experience. tweenage me had the biggest panic attack of my entire life trying to ukelele creep by radiohead (per any 14 year old girl).
i have made progress w my vocals in recent years but despite everything i can barely even listen to that song 7 years later because thats all i think about. it was utter humiliation.
that said, i got out my stupid little fake gay mini guitar w its pretty odd stickers and jon cozart signature and decided to try to redo it like rn. nobodys in this room but me and i am still aching in terror- its like i can literally see the band room’s music stands and the podium in the corner where our director was sitting. i just hit record on my little voice memos and i was 14 again. trying not to throw up rn.
still got just as nervous. still couldnt do anything near what im technically capable of in shaking violently and trying not to hyperventilate— but i got through it? its done? i am alive and i have now realized that the worst moment of my life despite everything else ive been through was defined by my insecurity rather than an actual catastrophe- shocker.
i am 21 and i am nauseous in my room alone and still fuck up strumming kn the fucking UKELELE (i didnt think that was possible) because of the same overestimation of significance and perfectionism that took me DEEEYOOWWWNNN!! at 14.
its a nice reflection. idk how this can transfer to different situations but honestly i recommend it- i have now diluted the significance of an event that i have never gotten over ever in my life.
gives my brain more room for the good out there.
Dec 5, 2024
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i have totally been there, and i dont necessarily recommend doing what i did, but i eventually texted the person for Reasons, acknowledged that I humiliated myself, and they said they legitimately didn’t think about it or find what i did embarrassing at all, even if i believe that an objective source would disagree? not that they completely forgot, just that they didn’t think about it like that.
it’s annoying to hear, but you really are your own worst critic! and everyone does embarrassing shit, and something more embarrassing will happen to you eventually, and that’s okay! it’s part of being human i guess
Jan 31, 2025
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Sadly I’m often afflicted by heavy guilt. Last Sunday I decided it was too much and I engaged on a series of small acts to help me process my big collection of guilts. It can look like texting people back or reassuring yourself that you’re acted righteously or acknowledge you’re letting yourself be affected by outside judgment or shit talking someone to your friends or saying fuck it out loud. Journaling about it, shooting darts on a printed piece of paper, taking naps, making soup. Whatever it takes. You will know. It won’t always work, but it’s usually soothing. Guilt is a stupid feeling, I’m tired of feeding it.
Jan 17, 2024
Top Recs from @d0ntp3rceiveme
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recently had to pause therapy bc my provider decided to go private pay and charge me $200/session. recording myself venting is basically like talking to my reflection, and then i can listen back and decide if i’m insane. plus i can even disclose the embarrassing things that i’d never tell my therapist. oh and it’s $0
Feb 18, 2024
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5 mins in he took a piss in the street, got to the bar to meet my friend and her bf and we immediately noticed he was acting weird, he wasn’t making any sense, kept getting up to go to the bathroom, eventually realized he fell asleep at the table mid convo. ditched him and woke up the next morning to a pic of him on his story with his chin busted open because he slammed his face into a curb
Feb 18, 2024
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delirious by vistoso bosses feat soulja boy
Feb 24, 2024