i have totally been there, and i dont necessarily recommend doing what i did, but i eventually texted the person for Reasons, acknowledged that I humiliated myself, and they said they legitimately didn’t think about it or find what i did embarrassing at all, even if i believe that an objective source would disagree? not that they completely forgot, just that they didn’t think about it like that.
it’s annoying to hear, but you really are your own worst critic! and everyone does embarrassing shit, and something more embarrassing will happen to you eventually, and that’s okay! it’s part of being human i guess
Related Recs
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And getting over it because it’s totally fine actually and the world isn’t going to end!! 🤯
Oct 9, 2024
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on confronting traumatic moments revolving around embarrassment or shame:
when i was like 14 in chorus class we were all required to do a solo performance. singjng is my biggest insecurity and i completely shut down any time i have to actually perform. needless to say, this was the epitome of that experience. tweenage me had the biggest panic attack of my entire life trying to ukelele creep by radiohead (per any 14 year old girl).
i have made progress w my vocals in recent years but despite everything i can barely even listen to that song 7 years later because thats all i think about. it was utter humiliation.
that said, i got out my stupid little fake gay mini guitar w its pretty odd stickers and jon cozart signature and decided to try to redo it like rn. nobodys in this room but me and i am still aching in terror- its like i can literally see the band room’s music stands and the podium in the corner where our director was sitting. i just hit record on my little voice memos and i was 14 again. trying not to throw up rn.
still got just as nervous. still couldnt do anything near what im technically capable of in shaking violently and trying not to hyperventilate— but i got through it? its done? i am alive and i have now realized that the worst moment of my life despite everything else ive been through was defined by my insecurity rather than an actual catastrophe- shocker.
i am 21 and i am nauseous in my room alone and still fuck up strumming kn the fucking UKELELE (i didnt think that was possible) because of the same overestimation of significance and perfectionism that took me DEEEYOOWWWNNN!! at 14.
its a nice reflection. idk how this can transfer to different situations but honestly i recommend it- i have now diluted the significance of an event that i have never gotten over ever in my life.
gives my brain more room for the good out there.
Dec 5, 2024
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Something that helps me a lot is reminding myself that we all tend to evaluate our own actions under a microscopic lens, observing problems that others would never pick up on because they’re not looking at us that closely. We tend to be much more critical of our own actions than those of others. And everyone does it! So reminding myself of this fact helps prevent me from spiraling.
ALSO: It can be very helpful to bring up a concern about something you did or said to a friend who was present at the time. 9/10 times they will tell you they hardly noticed it (if at all) and that it did not come off the way you feared. True friends will always accept you as you are and, as much as your anxiety brain would have you think otherwise, do not secretly hate you or think you’re lame!
Feb 4, 2025
Top Recs from @shmyl
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dubbed such because my ex was allergic to like all of the ingredients in it, and after breaking up, it was one of the first things i made.
it’s just cut up cucumbers, tomatoes, and avocado in a salad bowl with garlic, salt, pepper, olive oil, and ungodly amounts of lime juice, highly recommend
Jan 28, 2025
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my friend (who i’ve known for, like, 12 years) started carrying around a camcorder sometime last year. my pfp is a photo of a video she took as we were entering a movie night at the Huntington Library. she sent it to me and I thought it was adorable
Jan 30, 2025
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i used to be such a hater, and of course there are ways it still shines through, but it’s exhausting to think everything everyone else does is embarrassing all the time. like yeah crocs are cringe, but that’s kind of the point? if it’s not hurting anyone, if it’s just someone being happy and enjoying something, why be a hater??
Feb 17, 2025