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Definitely wasted far too many of my teenage and early 20s years playing the ~*cool girl*~ and pretending to shun things I actually really liked. Coincidentally, a lot of these âembarrassingâ interests were basically just things targeted towards women. (Why was Twilight met with such vitriol by the public but Star Wars is an essential watch??) So like what you like! Wear it on a damn t-shirt! And ask yourself if itâs actually just misogyny thatâs making you second guess it.
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As a child growing up with brothers and as the fat black kid, i never considered myself feminine. Even when i lost weight in middle school and went to an all girls high school, looking girly or being more âfeminineâ was just not something i thought about.
I feel like recently, i wanted to explore that more, as this pull to dress and appear more feminine has become super strong. Having a house to decorate in any way I can, actually starting to feel better about my body to wear skirts again, etc has really influenced me. But my fears are that it may portray trad wife or childâs play; Iâm nervous of stares or being questioned about my views if i were to give such a strong appearance of a girly woman.
But some of my inspirations have been strolling through vintage creators and small japanese insta accounts with super pink and fluffy aesthetics.
Hopefully i will build up the courage
Jan 5, 2025
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In cinema, women who take pride in their appearance by investing time in their makeup, hair, and outfits while also indulging in the finer things in life are commonly villainised.
Whether it is loving to splurge on materialistic things, such as expensive clothes and jewellery, handbags, or shoesâthe portrayed women are usually always the antagonist.
Take Highschool musical. Sharpay, a woman who prided herself on her appearance was solely obsessed with status and boys.
The Devil Wears Prada. Andy was portrayed to be less inclined with her appearance and therefore the most âkind-heartedâ character within her workplace, while the other ladies who were equally diligent at their jobs and who also worked equally long hours and busted their butts were portrayed to be snubbish and rude. As Andy then moved on to change her appearance, she maintained her self respect but lost it from her partner (to me this heavily reinforced the notion that âboys donât like women who spend money on their looks blah blah blah they just want a ârealâ woman) due to her changing appearance and her dedication to her job.
Legally Blonde. She never did it for herself in the first place, she did it to prove herself to her ex-boyfriend. She ended up becoming an awesome lawyer at the end but I hated that she started off ditsy and they couldnât even get her character to be somewhat professional for a Harvard Interview tape, really undermining her professionalism.
Grease. Dany loved Sandy. AND SHE STILL CHANGED HER WHOLE STYLE FOR HIM AT THE VERY END.
In these these movies, itâs also common for the more âtom-boyishâ women to tear down the more âfeminineâ women, which in my personal experience unconsciously led me down the same behaviour path while I was in my impressionable teen years. Women so focused on tearing other women down.
For the longest time growing up, I detested the colour pink and I hated wearing makeup and dresses. Instead, I skateboarded and played soccer and video games on my DS and PSP (which I loved to do) while I was secretly jealous of my sisterâs pink barbie dolls and sparkly dresses. All these movies that I grew up watching, although I didnât know it then, looked down on the idea of enjoying the feminine things in lifeâespecially to get a boys attention. As an insecure kid, it really messed me up, thinking the only way I could get a boys attention was rejecting the things I secretly liked. What young girls needed was a mix of representation of strong women while not vilifying a lifestyle. It took a lot of self-reflection and development as well as maturity to unlearn the inherent behaviour patterns that I learnt through the media I was consuming. Especially unlearning the phrase a lot of teen girls are familiar with: âgirls are too much drama.â
No, girls are not too much drama.
It is okay to like pink, to like makeup and dresses, to be materialistic and enjoy collecting shoes and bags. The right man/partner for you wonât care what you choose to do with your appearance, but will encourage you to be happy. And most importantly, you will be happy.
As a 23 year old Civil Engineer by trade, women are awesome. No matter their style preference or job choice. I like materialistic things, I get my nails done once a month, and my eyebrows done once a fortnight, and I love to shop for clothes and handbags. But Iâd also like to believe this isnât my soul personality trait, I like to go to the gym, I am a big gamer and I love to read, Iâve been watching anime since I was nine, and playing in the mud on rainy days is still a fun secret hobby of mine.
I also would like to believe that I am a good person who is also good at what I do, and that I also possess my own drives and passions, despite my love for pink and Christian Dior.
Jan 23, 2025
Historically, I have been too insecure to be a girl. That pressure of prettiness, of being delicate, of being desirable. I refused to engage. But this year something has shifted. I love cardigans, I want to talk about how I do my hair, I learned how to do make-up. Even though I'm not a model, I adore making myself feel pretty and sexy. I'm falling in love with the culture of feminism, and reclaiming mother earth as a mother. Girlhood is something so insanely precious and now, despite it being so hard, I am so unbelievably grateful I get to experience it. Want to merge my soul with every woman on the planet and scream OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!
Jan 17, 2025
Top Recs from @laur3000
How this film didnât get Western recognition like Parasite is beyond me. It is an absolute perfect film: stunning cinematography and production design, an excellent score and a story that keeps you constantly on your toes. Adapted from Sarah Watersâ Fingersmith and relocated to 1930âs Korea, this film is Park Chan Wook at his absolute best
Apr 18, 2024
Beautifully written, the world and characters feel shrouded in mystery which is great for a reading slump because youâre immediately intrigued. An older couple in an Arthurian Britain embark on a journey to find their son. This one really hit me emotionally and I found myself thinking about it for weeks afterwards.
Apr 18, 2024