From the Atlantic: āThere is no statistical record of any other period in U.S. history when people have spent more time on their own.ā
I donāt know anything about youāhow funny is that? I couldnāt even begin to guess what your life looks like. I couldnāt spot you in a crowd. If I were a friend, Iām sure I could give better advice. Perhaps suggest joining a local groupĀ Ā I know of, or a class at the gym that always puts me in a good mood. Perhaps introduce you to someone Iāve always thought youād get along with.Ā
The beautiful thing about the internet is that you can ask this question to the void and the void speaks back. Itās so much easier this way, but so much worse.Ā
Geography, family, shared interests, shared labor. Community used to be inescapable. We still depend on each other for everything, but we do it all at a distance. Iāll chat for an hour with a friend across the country, but I know nothing about the people across the street. Itās a selling point if the grocer can name the farmer who grew your food. I could have been writing this to send to a distant family member, who I want to reconnect with, or an old friendāinstead Iām writing to you, a stranger. Itās easier. Our community ties have been broken.Ā
So: what do you, an individual, do? You may find more success if you develop individual friendships tied to a placeāseveral articles about the loneliness epidemic talk about the gymāor a group that meets regularly. Apparently, the best way to beak down peoplesā walls is just to see them constantly. This is true for new friends and for deepening relationships. For those friends and acquaintances youād like to be closer to, keep inviting them to shit. Set your boundaries, but keep trying. The thing about people is that everybody is interesting and confusing and stupid and wise and mean and wonderfulābut itās safer to spill all that on the internet, where no one can spot you in a crowd. Let people know that youāre around and interested no matter what, and see what happens. It will take a long time, but itāll be worth it. Not just for you, but for them. For everyone, if we all put the effort in.Ā
Iām sorryāit shouldnāt be this way. But we have to try. Weāre all counting on each other <3