failure has been a huge motivating and hindering force in my life
my fear of failure is so debilitating some times i cant even get out of bed
i have been working on it for years
i am so much better than i was before but its still there
always will be
like this scary thing in the corner of my room watching and waiting for me to fuck up
Related Recs
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We all naturally fear change, but i’m less afraid of failing than i am of succeeding bc i know it comes with losing a lot. i dont wanna lose more than i have. I feel like everything’s gonna change for the best atm and i’m horrified
Feb 14, 2025
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i really need to work on my overly intense fear of abandonment... the fact that my immediate thought is that someone is mad at me and is going to leave me if they don't look at/like my story is ridiculous especially considering the fact that this person would rather die than hurt me :/ so hard to unlearn after years of being in that state of mind.
Feb 19, 2025
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and i don’t want to be scared. i don’t know how many months or how many years i have before my condition spirals out of control. i don’t know how much time i have left to live a normal life or pretend as if im living a normal life. as a normal person. this should scare me. and it does. but not enough for me to care about the things that really matter. i constantly find myself wallowing in the wait of this spiral. and i don’t want to wallow anymore. it’s difficult not to wallow.
Dec 24, 2024
Top Recs from @briwoot
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using A.I. for art instead of using it to fix problems such as poverty, climate change etc is fucking weird
art is a way people cope with human existence and express feelings as well as share and pass down culture
why tf is A.I. in the mix
its weird to me
Jun 2, 2024
i like to wear lipstick on my upper lip but not the bottom
its v rare when i do
i been doing this since HS honestly and i love it
Jun 19, 2024
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TW: drugs and psychosis
i was in active addiction 4 years ago and was going on a 4 day streak of a bender
where i decided to go to a party do meth (ik) and drink and smoke (more) weed
i was so out of it that when i had to leave
(never drive UTI) it looked like i was driving through a forest under water
when i got back to my friends place her mom said their family cat (who was v old) was dying and she wanted us to say good to him
when i looked at the cat it looked like it was turned inside out and its inside were rotting
i felt sick to my stomach and hid in her room where i began to question everything
what i had seen, what i was doing, and finally who i was and if the thoughts i had were mine or someone else's- it was a lot
it was from there i kinda realized there was more and now im here
sober and a changed woman
the end
Jul 5, 2024