I quit smoking maybe a decade ago, and I was having a really hard time. A friend asked, “I wonder what’s underneath that?” And being the little emotional explorer I am that really drove me to give it a fair shot. For me, smoking was a way to suppress all of my emotions. When you think about it, when you are smoking, you are taking nice deep breaths. Very regulating! When I first quit, I was an emotional mess. It was new to me, and I felt ridiculous, but it passed quickly. I had to learn new ways of emotionally regulating. I also chewed a piece of gum every time I wanted a cigarette. I became sort of addicted to gum for a while, but that also faded. A big part of smoking for me was that it was an intentional way to cause harm to myself. I knew that it was bad and I liked the way that it felt. I had to do a lot of psychological and emotional work to unlearn that self harming drive. So, mentally I was also telling myself that this was a loving thing for me to do and that I deserved to take care of my body and be healthy. There’s lots of logical ways to help you quit, but like all addictions there’s an emotional component to it. Discover what that is for you and treat the root issue! Good luck!
Jun 18, 2024

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Ever since I quit nicotine I don't deprive myself of a cigarette when I feel like I really need it. So it hits different, because when my emotional state is low all it takes is a cig break to feel like I'm confronting whatever it is that's weighing me down. This system is fool-proof. Sometimes I think I'm low enough for a cigarette then decide I'm not quite sad enough. So when I do smoke it's because I'm crying & absolutely losing it. Because my smoke breaks are spontaneous, I can't quite plan for them, leading to unfinished packs & a plethora of lighters. Funny enough, each lighter coincides with whatever was making me feel awful that day making it a journal of sorts for my feelings. My fav is the "take me with you" lighter because well.. I really related to that when I bought it. There's also something really protagonist-y about walking into a gas station, eyes puffy & tears streaming down your face & asking for a pack of camel menthols ... oh & a swag lighter.
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I have a vivid memory of being 18 years old, my parents just moved me across the country into my dorm, and as I watched their car turn a corner away from view, I pulled out a pack of Gauloises and lit up. I was a woman now. I loved smoking, I was never a heavy smoker, but I always wanted to keep it light enough so that it could forever be in my life. Anyway, years later there was a pandemic/heart break/lots of life changes and the idea of long term planning (staying alive/having nice skin) flew out the window for me and cigarettes took a much bigger role in my life and that freaked me out. So I read the same stupid book that everyone does, I rolled my eyes the whole time thinking NO WAY and then I finished the book and was freed. Last page done = no desire for another cigarette again. Probably it’s a form of hypnosis, and an essential element is being ready to say goodbye, but if you ARE ready: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr is some type of witchcraft. Also, Anthony Hopkins and Angelica Huston blurbed the edition I read, and I thought that was convincing evidence. They probably smoked a lot.
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I'm at a point in my life where many of my peers will say that they intend to quit someday, but just not yet. Besides the most obvious reasons for giving up nicotine and tobacco, here are some of the short-term benefits I've found since my hiatus. - Exercising self-control - better lung capacity - getting rid of the smell that sticks to your clothes - no nic-shits - less nausea - better appetite - far less frequent cravings In short, you don't have to give up going outdoors to chat with your smoking friends, but you can find autonomy in choosing your battles wisely—Or not, its really up to you.
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This has become the norm and every day I grow more disturbed. I understand if somebody is behaving in a harmful way, that is good to document and put out there. But as a whole, it seems, we have become so comfortable with recording people just living their lives. I saw a video of a guy working and the caption of the video was that he was so hot, we needed to find him!!! Why are you providing the Internet with his face and location instead of just going up to talk to him? I saw another of two people on the subway, seemingly a couple, having a very emotional moment. How would you feel if you open up an app and saw a video like that of yourself? I don’t like this level of sibling society surveillance. Why are you videoing an elderly person with sad music dubbed over it to gain likes? It is WEIRD. Don’t even get me started on videos of children. It is WEIRD to use a stranger without their consent to get some kind of fake validation. Get a life. I don’t mean to come on here and share something so negative, I just don’t have anywhere else to put it and it’s gnawing at me.
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It’s to keep us humble otherwise we’d be TOO hot/sexy/cool
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