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🖤

Tell your loved ones how you feel

It's been a week since my brother Jacob passed. He was the last person I expected to go—an extremely active cyclist, hiker, and traveler. We still don't know what exactly happened, but in a matter of only half an hour he went from making his breakfast to his heart stoping. So many of his traits I admired so much felt like things I lacked; he was disciplined, reliable, and energetic. He traveled the world and made friends across the whole globe, it seems. He was always adept at math, a subject I always struggled with. He was only 18 months my junior. I literally can't remember my life without Jacob in it. At some points in our childhood he felt like my shadow. Since we were homeschooled during the early years of my life we spent so much time together. I took that for granted, but now I'm so grateful for all the hours of fort building, hole digging, camping, biking, basketball, getting destroyed by him playing NBA Live and womping on him in Mortal Kombat. I really regret simply assuming he knew how much I loved him. We were brothers. We fought, argued, and teased each-other. He was such an appendage to my day-to-day that I didn't ever stop to tell him how dear he was to me, how proud I was of all he'd done, how grateful I was for all he contributed around the house and with the family, and how jealous I was of his fearlessness with change and travel. People ask how I'm holding up, and it's hard to answer because—all things considered— I am doing alright. The hardest times are when my brain and nervous system still haven't realized he's gone: hearing the creak of a door and expecting him to walk in after a bike ride—his cycling shoes clinking on the tile; learning some soccer news and wanting to text him about it; feeling eager to get his feedback on something I cooked. But the most difficult thing has been encountering the pity and sorrow people have shown toward me, because that somehow reveals the scope of the loss and the depth to which folks cared about him and care about me. Knowing we share some impacts of this loss breaks my heart. I so deeply appreciate all the offers of help and reaching out, and yet I have nothing to offer. I have nothing for which to ask. My brain just short-circuits. Perhaps the best thing you can do for me is to let your loved ones know how you feel. Find one person you have maybe taken for granted and share your love clearly so that they truly know how much you treasure them because they won't always be around.

@theinfamousgdub

May 6, 2024

♥️

Be free: Share love, tell your stories, leave no regrets or words unspoken

I watched my brother die of cancer at 22 when I was twelve, as well as my uncle of brain cancer and a few other members of my family. I then had a similar type of rare sarcoma cancer that my brother did when i was 20, and I was just talking to friends about this last night! I think the most powerful thing we can do as humans is understand our mortality. Once we understand that we're just meat sacks with no universal truth beside death, we can exist in a manner that aligns with meaningful connection. I advise you tell people things you need to tell them, whether you love them or you think something they're doing is not serving them. Be justified and trusting in all your decisions for yourself because you have to now. I'm so sorry this is coming as a shock to you so suddenly. this is hard shit to reckon with at first. But just like my brother said while being interviewed on CNN during our MLB ballpark tour raising awareness in '06: "I live every day like I'm dying"

@rossnewbs

Jul 25, 2024

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Mourning

This is a little long winded and personal. Please forgive me. It's been exactly one year since my great aunt passed away - she was a pillar of the family, a very intelligent and witty woman whom we all loved. She used to cut out stories from the newspaper/ magazines and mail them to me while I lived away, and she had the most incredible handwriting I’ve ever seen. She was, to use one of her favorite things to call me, a “real mensch.” Less than 48 hours after that, I got broken up with. We had been dating for almost two years. It was the healthiest relationship I had ever been in. Yet, we were laying in my teenage bedroom at my parents house, and she was crying. All I remember is thinking to myself “FIGHT for her you DUMB MOTHERFUCKER, you CAN’T lose another woman” - but I didn’t. I was scared. And just like that, the best year of my life came crashing down in spectacular fashion. Two extremely hard hits at once. I had to keep moving forward. I didn’t see any alternative. And as a result, I sank into what I can only describe as my own death spiral. Lots of cigs, lots of booze, lots of work, all to drown out the voices in my head telling me “maybe this isn’t a good idea.” I didn’t allow myself to MOURN then. To feel sad, to feel loss, and to work it out constructively and communally. Now, a year later, I’m finally allowing myself to feel those emotions about both of those things. Finally crawling out of that death spiral. Mourning isn’t weakness, nor is grief. Just…if you haven’t properly mourned something, anything, I recommend allowing yourself to. Keeping something like that inside, no matter how compartmentalized it may be, is a bad idea.

@haydenaugust

Mar 8, 2025

Top Recs from @coreydubrowa

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When your new book is finally available for preorder ❤️

Hey tyler hopefully this doesn’t violate some PI.FYI golden rule But after nearly two years of writing, editing and arguing, my book about the EP is coming out in May and can be preordered here: https://hozacrecords.com/product/aifl/ The book is about the origins, history and cultural impact of the EP since these little objects first started coming out in the 50s. Over 50 of my music biz friends then helped me shape the list and review the top 200 ever released, according to us (ha). For those of you who are into this kind of geekery/snobbery, I can’t wait to hear what you think. A labor of love, as all books are! ❤️

@coreydubrowa

Mar 27, 2024

📣

The cure announcing their first album in 16 years by PUTTING up a single poster outside the pub in crawley UK where they played their first gig

“Songs Of a Lost World” coming to a goth listening station near you Nov 1 🖤 The fr FW Me Friday the 13th the world was looking for

@coreydubrowa

Sep 14, 2024

🎶

Unwound

I will fail to explain just how much this band meant to me in the 90s. So I will borrow from AV Club who did a fine job of distilling it: “Unwound is the best band of the ’90s. Not just because of how prolific, consistent, and uncompromising it was, but because of how perfectly Unwound nested in a unique space between some of the most vital forms of music that decade: punk, post-rock, indie rock, post-hardcore, slow-core, and experimental noise. That jumble of subgenres doesn’t say much; in fact, it falls far short of what Unwound truly synthesized and stood for. Unwound stood for Unwound. But in a decade where most bands were either stridently earnest or stridently ironic, Unwound wasn’t stridently anything. It was only itself. In one sense Unwound was the quietest band of the ’90s, skulking around like a nerdy terror cell. In another sense it was the loudest, sculpting raw noise into contorted visions of inner turmoil and frustration.” R.I.P. Vern Rumsey. This is their finest song, from their finest album. I really can’t say enough about the sheer bloody minded genius of this group. 🖤

@coreydubrowa

Mar 23, 2024

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