first of all, Iâm so sorry to hear abt this :( job market is absolutely shit balls insane, and to reach the finish line and be pulled out must feel super heavy.
thatâs the first part. acknowledge the fact that it sucks ass, and validate how you feel. give yourself a day or two of moping, self-pity. it is so valid of you to feel frustrated or discouraged. within the sadness, give yourself grace. make sure you parent yourself with gentle self talk, buy a sweet treat or take some time to talk to loved ones, leave the house, even if you donât feel like it.
Make sure the self pity doesnât lapse into negative paradigms. from my own experience, what I define as âfailureâ will trigger old voices and experiences to come back into the present moment.
understand that no matter what, no matter what the outcome, you are enough. you are on the right path, making all the right choices.
something that helps me move forward, is remembering that life is a giant current of energy. time isnât linear, but we are, to an extent. if you have some ideas of what you want for yourself in the future, that source of energy/ desire must have something at the end of that current.
ie: the person that you are now, is built up of all the versions of you that came before you. you did that! and whoâs to say that your future self right now, isnât beaming down on you in the same way?
I have pretty intense rejection sensitivity. listening, moving, sitting-with & releasing (crying, writing, indulging in bits of joy adjust the sadness) helps to ease into the current, rather than against it.
good luck to you on your soul/job search! this is only one hurdle, there is possibility just up aheadâŠ.
đ
Jul 24, 2024
Comments (3)
Make an account to reply.
also: as youâre moving thru your sadness, move in milestones and not goals!!
goals (ie: holly with a job that is enjoyable) is a a large, overarching goal. break it down into bits and pieces!
ie: day 1: rejected, giving the self time to cry and be sad and perhaps indulge in some negative paradigms.
day2-3: nurture the self. coax into warm showers and soft hugs from friends. pet a neighbourhood cat, watch favourite shows.
day4-6: bits and pieces of forward movement. what else is out there? seperate the desperation, and ease into the more. look in places you didnât think of looking before, hang around coffee shops.
day 7-10: let yourself be happy(shout be a milestone throughout). gawk at the morning sun. buy a new piece of jewelry. maybe 2-4 jobs per day, with a day dedicated to research and then to cover lettering.
the beyond: exactly how you imagine it
xoxo
harmanzworlddddd I don't know how to even begin to say thank you... this is just the most endearing, wholesome thing and I really needed to hear this.
hollycookswithfriends :) Iâm glad to hear it. best of luck to you my friend, you got this!
Related Recs
đ«
transitionary periods are never easy, and iâm sorry youâre having to let go of so many things youâve come to find comfort in, but not having an immediate sense of what to do next is not necessarily a bad thing. I had a similar phase of moving home after college, and it sucked for plenty of reasons, but it also gave me time and space to settle for a moment and reassess what my path was.
for a lot of people, itâs very easy to follow whatever momentum (career-wise or personal life-wise) theyâve been riding during undergrad and follow that to the next immediate opportunity, and a lot of people find contentment that way! but having an interruption to this sequence provides you with a unique opportunity to interrogate some assumptions you may have had about your future. is this career field really where you see yourself? is this city where you picture yourself settling? are you following the expectations imposed on you by others or are you following your own motivations and values? use this brief intermission to mourn what you are losing, but also to consider what you might build for yourself when freed from the necessity of following whatever path you have been on.
if you donât like the situation youâre returning to, what would be a totally new scenario that would be better for you? envision that, and if the idea is compelling enough, pursue it. until you develop that vision, you may have to do some things to occupy yourself in the meantime that you may not find a lot of fulfillment in. maybe you find a part time job somewhere. whatever it is, if you come to dislike it all youâre doing is tuning your compass. use that to inform what you might prefer to do. but stay occupied! trying and making mistakes and learning is better than being idle.
during this process - and it will be a process, be patient with yourself - find ways to surround yourself with supportive community. maybe thatâs your family, maybe itâs friends youâve maintained in the place youâre returning to, maybe you seek out new community in hobbies you have, or you have cultural or religious communities youâre a part of, or you find friends in the workplace or a third social place. at the very least, they will provide you an escape from the stress of this period, but you could also develop relationships with people who can work though this life phase alongside you. whatâs important, though, is that you create reasons to get out and interact with the world. youâre going to be dealing with a lot internally, and isolation can lead to spiraling. who knows, maybe you find a community that is better than what you have left, or maybe you find people who motivate you to pursue whatever you discover is next for you and see you off into the next chapter of your life.
basically, youâre gonna have to do some growth. like all growth, itâll hurt sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, and you may have to leave certain things in the past that you werenât ready to part with just yet, and itâs okay to recognize and process those losses. but so long as you donât resign yourself to despair, and you find a support network that can bolster your spirit, you can come back stronger and more prepared to head down whichever path this process leads you to discover, and with more confidence and determination than the path you had been going down before. best of luck, friend. I hope you find what youâre looking for.
Jun 18, 2024
đ©»
When youâre in a slump, youâre in a slump.
Let yourself feel things. The good and the bad. I welcome them like a visitor and I invite them at the pretend dinner table in my head and get to know them, and I try not to ask them why theyâre here. Why I feel things. I just let them be. Know that this will pass, just like a person visiting for a few nights and I try not to hold on to them when theyâre ready to leave (yes those feelings will pass). Sounds very clichĂ© but they do.
From my experience, the longer I fight the sadness/depression/slump, the longer it stays. Iâve learned just to take it day by day. This wouldnât be possible without months of therapy where it was revealed to me that Iâve been so hard on myself almost my entire life.
I also meditate every night for 15-20 minutes. I take this activity so seriously, just a few minutes to close my eyes and release the tension Iâve felt the whole day. I love staying still. I love to close my eyes and think of nothing. My drive will come back.
What also helps (for me) is taking a few minutes a day to go outside and letting the sun touch my skin. It feels so good. Listen to the birds. Listen to the traffic. Just observe your surroundings and remember that there is life outside you and you are a part of something big and eventually you get inspired by something. May it be small or big. It will come back to you.
Be gentle and kind to yourself <3
Apr 25, 2024
đ
As someone who is maybe 2ish connections removed from the situation Im assuming you may be referring to⊠I am so deeply sorry đ hope you know that there are many strangers out there who are rooting for you and think you deserve to be happy and treated well, despite being strangers âŠ
As someone who has been through a lot of heartbreak, the advice already given in previous comments is really great . I think in my experience, having 1 or 2 friends that you know really love you and get you, that you can spend time with even if you are really sad and not contributing much, was helpful. If you feel the need to talk about your feelings try to keep it to those people, or a journal. Once you start to feel a little better going out with more people and being more social can really help remind you of what is valuable about YOU.. what YOU enjoy and bring to the world..
Above all it helped me to remind myself that life is going to go on. You will move on, no matter how long it might take. It might feel like the worst thing in the world but i promise you will get through it. Itâs just a matter of time :) be kind to yourself while time passes. I cant emphasize enough how deeply I have felt so heartbroken I thought I couldnt go on. Multiple times. Yet here I am.. and you will be okay too â€ïž
Mar 3, 2024
Top Recs from @harmanzworlddddd
I got my nails done and I realized the star on the index finger makes the nails PI themed. Semi unconscious yet a soft-smile realization while the nail tech was painting the star on.
Dec 18, 2024
đ»
I was celibi-cied for like 3 years after my situationship became an âomfg-you-are-a-serial-cheater-on-your-girlfriend-of-four-years!â Hella afraid of love, intimacy and everything.
over the past few months, Iâve been casual dating for no other means than finding out what I like and donât like. Iâve had good and bad sex, been given flowers on the first date and then ghosted, moved to the UK and had my first proper one night stand (every other one was too drunken to remember lol) and am currently on my first bae-cation with a man I am slowly falling in love with.
I promise you, dating for fun rather than for long-term involvement is so much more enriching than you think. As youâre floating around, you learn to decenter men and tolerate their mansplaining a lot less. You find out that no, you do not want to make a sex tape on the first date, and then youâll slowly trickle in the good stuff. Kind men who just listen to you, and are a little different than the other men youâve seen. Youâll learn to love being treated kindly, and cherish that above all else story-watching-liking-no game bs.
Itâs sounds sooo irritating to say shit like phhh donât look for it, itâll come for you!! But girl as annoying as it is⊠that is the truth of the matter. I donât know if this guy is my finish
line, but I did just orgasm like 8 times đđŸ I met on hinge, and lowkey ghosted him intially. give the guy in your dms a chance for real âŠ.
Wishing you and your future lover all the bestâŠ.
p.s copying the other user by attaching a relevant song đ
Nov 10, 2024
I love British Columbia cos Iâm from here. So surreal and beautiful and peaceful.
WEST COAST BEST COAST RAHHHHHH
The pic is from a bat walk I went on yesterday. this shit is literally my backyard #crazyassprivelage
Jul 25, 2024