one of the most memorable birthdays i have had is a surprise birthday for my 18th or 21st and i absolutely hated it. i appreciated the effort my family went through to do it but it was my literal nightmare.
my birthday tradition is to spend it doing whatever i want and not feel bad about it. if that means spending an obscene amount of money on shoes i've been lusting after, heck yeah i'll do it. if that means spending the entire day at the cinemas, you bet i'm there. if that means going out with my friends or travelling, yeah i'm doing it. and sometimes i actually just don't feel like doing anything at all and that is sometimes a vibe too.
i think sometimes we are put under pressure to celebrate our birthdays in a certain way with others or throw parties but if that isn't authentic to you or you just don't feel like it, your birthday should be the one day of the year that you can do whatever you want.
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows Café + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
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it’s such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know it’s such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but they’d never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isn’t a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
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didnt realise until recently that people dont take their birthday off but as a attention seeking leo im obsessed with mine and couldn’t imagine doing anything for other people on my special day! even if you like ur work and don’t have big plans for the day just take it as your birthright (😝) to do the things you enjoy doing the most, even (or especially) if it‘s doing nothing and just hanging out in your bed in ur pjs
Oct 21, 2024
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i don't think anyone ever intends to become a recreational ornithologist. but i've noticed that it definitely creeps up on you slowly in your mid-twenties. it starts with noticing how funny pigeons are, then learning pigeon lore, and suddenly you're feeding your neighbourhood birds every morning and buying books on birds. as a child i idolised the pigeon lady in home alone 2, and i woke up this morning and realised — i AM the pigeon lady 🐦
6d ago
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reading is a habit of building and developing your empathy and critical thinking skills. you’re forced to sit with an idea for however long you are reading it and forced to contextualise it and comprehend it within your own life and perspective. You can’t just scroll away or pause or put it on 2x speed. you have to sit with it. it’s super underrated, but genuinely I’ve made this a habit for the last year and feel like a totally different person. also you come out of it having learned something new or seeing the world in a slightly new way. I literally do not see any downsides to reading. make reading cool again! also you don’t have to do it in one big block, you can space it out — 15 mins here, 45 there — whatever works for you!
Dec 9, 2024
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our cultural obsession with being perceived as cool is a disease. its peak capitalistic/consumerist propaganda. fuck being cool. like what you like and who cares if it's cool or not. it's tiresome and we need to leave it in 2024. literally nothing gives me the ick more than people who betray themselves in an attempt to be perceived as cool by the masses. be yourself — even if it means you're 'uncool'.
Jan 3, 2025