At 23 I had just been married for a year, working an office job, swearing that I’d live in an apartment forever, driving this car I hated and unsure what I wanted in life.
At 30, I’m eight years into marriage, and almost three into parenthood. I have had 3 different jobs since 23, we bought a house a year ago, and both my wife and I drive our ‘dream cars’ (an old Lexus truck for me and baby blue Subaru for her — we are normal people) and both working in the fields that we dreamed of. For my wife, she left her career in bridal and had two corporate jobs only to pivot back into a greater bridal role, and for me I’ve done misc jobs and ended up in this hybrid stay at home dad / teaching / design mix.
Life looks so different than it did at 23. You starting over at 23 is fine. And it’s fine at 27. And at 30. And 34. And 41. And 47! Life is all about starting over. Different versions of you will be birthed and die over and over for new ones to take their place.
You’re going to be fine. Start over and over and over again. Life is all about restarts!
Aug 6, 2024
Related Recs
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Man when I was 21 I thought I had it all. Had friends I would go clubbing with every weekend. Was in a happy relationship with a woman who I thought was THE one. My artistic career in college was taking off, I was getting gallery calls left and right, people were recognizing my hard work and skills. Lived in a dogcrap apartment but still made enough to live on my own and bought the car I still drive today (5 years later) for $3K in cash.
Turns out things can change, you grow out of friend groups, you move back home from college, good relationships can still fall apart, your art career has ups and downs and you don’t get the amazing job immediately after you graduate. Life is never simple. Tomorrow is never promised, sometimes things work out sometimes despite how hard you try, they don‘t. The biggest lesson I learned back then though was it’s ok to not have everything figured out. I’m still figuring things out at 26, and I’m content with that.
Jan 22, 2025
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I’ve experienced 5 birthdays for ages ending in zero and none of them marked a big turning point in my life *
What I’ve realized, and other people have agreed with, is that no adult age has felt like I assumed it would be when I was young. 30, 40, 50… I’m still me. Less hair and more prescriptions, but still me.
Ages will mean as little or as much as you decide they do. If you want turning 30 to mark a change in your life, go for it! Want to forget about it? It’s forgotten. Life doesn’t organize itself by decades or years.
Do takeadvantage of every opportunity you have, though: go places, exercise, meet people, take care of your body. Those kinds of things get more difficult with age.
Also, don’t stop looking for new music.
*well I bought a car when I was 30 and drove it for 20 years, but the timing was just coincidence
Dec 3, 2024
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happy (early?) birthday!! 🎉 Idk what advice to give because i feel like the 20-somethings now are more emotionally aware than the 20-somethings from even as recent as a decade ago, but tune into your body, give yourself grace, and listen to others’ stories without feeling pressured to model your life after someone else’s. & if you don’t know what you want your life to look like yet that’s okay! ❤️
At 21 I was in my senior year of college and engaged to be married within the year after graduation. In the southern religious environment we were in this wasn’t abnormal, but in retrospect that was soooo young to get married and I don’t think I would have so quickly if I hadn’t been so desperate to get out of a problematic family situation that involved some financial abuse. Despite changing A LOT over the past decade+ my partner and I are still together, and I look back at 21 as a time when I most followed the social script expected of me and coasted on that for a while, until it all started to fall apart (in an ultimately good if devastating way) when I became a mom at 24.
tl;dr: my 21 was tame and mellow and happy but i had no idea who i was or what i could be and now i do have a stronger sense of that at 32 and that feels better
Jun 11, 2024
Top Recs from @marianoleonczik
florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones — we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight.
In all seriousness — weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
Jul 20, 2024
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I feel like there’s a special connectivity on this app that I haven’t felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010’s tumblr. The fact that you can’t promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isn’t mass video content like Tik Tok is great. It’s not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup).
Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope we’ll all be here for a long time.
Jun 15, 2024
🖥
I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. It’s made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love.
I just never thought I’d feel the same way about URL friends. I’m constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed.
It’s nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. I’m going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
Sep 15, 2024