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first day of school two years post college feels like I’m a kid again and it’s for actual classes I’m excited about

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Even now as an old decrepit grad student and prof, the first day of school continues to fill me with wonder. What will my classes be like? Will I see anyone I know? I have a bag full of unused notebooks and pens. I somehow have not a care in the world and a feeling of dread. It’s lovely that some things stay exactly the same.
Aug 26, 2024
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Today was my first day back in university since fall of 2022. I’m 22 years old now, when I went before I had already taken a gap year fresh out of high school and felt way too old and “more mature” than my classmates. In my time away, that mindset has since changed and now I’ve returned with a better and more stable mindset… and so far I’m thinking things will go well! I’m taking classes I’m actually fucking interested in and excited about and that’s really important. Even if it’s for things that people wouldnt consider taking seriously. It’s serious to me! And I’m excited! It was worth walking in the FRIGID cold today for this fresh start. (15°F plus windchill)
Jan 15, 2025
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i was far too busy getting completely obliterated to do so in my early 20s. (do not recommend.) but the experience of doing schoolwork now feels like it did as a little kid. you know.. before puberty knocked me awake to the reality of my shitty home life, which caused a haze of depression to fall over me. in my single digit years i remember being so excited to do school work, and feeling so proud of myself when i did well. im getting a taste of that again. i never lost the exhilarating feeling i got from gaining knowledge that truly excites me. but it’s a beautiful new kinda thing with the added clarity gained from not being ripped on weed 24/7 and the added confidence gained from surviving the shit hand that was given to me as a kid. hang in there 🕊️
Oct 28, 2024

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