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I often dress my daughter to mimic me, but on some days she requests it for herself (hats and loose jeans and layers and shirts with cars on them). Letting her figure out her personal style at 3 is exciting and adorable.
At the park today, when she took off her jacket and hoodie, she was running around in a Cars t-shirt and the hat and a lady approached me and said āWow he sure does have long hair for a boy!ā to which I corrected her and explained that sheās in fact a girl, to which she said āWell why do you have her dressed like that then?ā
ā¦sighā¦
Look, my wife and I arenāt the type to be offended by the accidental misgender, it happens with kids all the time. But what does bother me is that itās clear she started the convo only to critique the clothing choices that my daughter, a literal 3 year old, made. It got me thinking likeā¦how sad do you have to be to go out of your way to release the inner dialogue you have in your mind, knowing that youāre only doing it to start issues? Really would have taken no energy to not say anything at all!
I politely dismissed myself from the convo and we moved on to the swings, but I do think everyone should consider just keeping quiet more often. Thereās no need to say certain things. I wasnāt bothered by it, but I can imagine that someone else could have been and that would have been its own fun conflict to resolve.
I guess the elementary school proverb still holds true today: If you canāt say something nice, donāt say anything at all!
Sep 9, 2024
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I donāt mean this in a letās enforce toxic positivity way. And maybe this sounds simple and obvious but Iāve learned from my own experience and observations that it can be off-putting to others to always be complaining, criticizing, or saying negative things! It can really bring the energy down whether itās in interactions with close friends, significant others, family, coworkers, dates, or strangers and it doesnāt make people feel good.
This isnāt to say that you should never have critical thoughts, engage in difficult conversations, or share your heavy emotions with people you trust. but I think this is something people can do without even realizing itās a pattern for them and it has an effect on your own psyche as well imoā¦ and it feels great to bring a little light into someoneās day š¦ļø
Apr 19, 2024
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sometimes itās cool to leave that shit unsaid
Feb 24, 2024
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why be negative when you can be positive. If you see someone do something dumb just ignore it (unless itās especially funny then you can share it with friends another time).
We only live once so best to focus on the positives. When youāre nice to others you feel much better yourself. And everyoneās constantly learning, making mistakes anyway so while other people may seem uninformed sometimes, you also will be at points and you wouldnāt want to be ridiculed for that.
As for others being negative, just nod along and ignore. Or try to change the topic.
Jan 28, 2025
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florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones ā we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight.
In all seriousness ā weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
Jul 20, 2024
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I feel like thereās a special connectivity on this app that I havenāt felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010ās tumblr. The fact that you canāt promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isnāt mass video content like Tik Tok is great. Itās not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup).
Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope weāll all be here for a long time.
Jun 15, 2024
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I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. Itās made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love.
I just never thought Iād feel the same way about URL friends. Iām constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed.
Itās nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. Iām going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
Sep 15, 2024