it’s weird, but my mom has told me about this senior bingo night that she’s started going to. she looks forward to it and tells me how fun it is to hang out with them. i feel like joining a chess club or knitting circle or fucking bridge group would have been so fun as a younger person. it doesn’t really matter the age of the people as long as you’re embraced and cherished in some way. is there any forum for you to look for local clubs? also the gym. also volunteering???? it’s actually the best kept secret that folks who volunteer are compulsorily interesting. but western society is so individualist, i understand entirely that it can feel like beside school, there’s no place for you in the world. i truly hope you find somewhere that people appreciate your presence.
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Clubs don’t end after high school and/or college. Join local clubs that match your interests. I joined a local rec center tennis team, snowboarding in the winter, go ride biking trails. A lot of my activities I go to solo but so do so many other people. I’ve met so many wonderful people this way. Just be open to meeting and talking to new people!
Also, volunteering! I know two friends personally who are in long-term relationships with people they met this way.
I haven’t been looking to date but you easily could meet your other half by being more involved in your community.
May 16, 2024
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Getting outside with others is really great - are there any community or volunteer gardens near you? Older folks who could use a hand? Getting out and about, meeting new folks, and seeing things grow have done me a lot of good!
Apr 6, 2024
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I moved to a new city during covid and times were tough here for a while, but this is what worked for me:
- befriending your coworkers (sometimes they’re really cool and will become your bff, most of them time they’re fine to occasionally hang w)
-being a regular at a coffee shop, bar, or concert/show venue (hit up the familiar faces and they’re likely to introduce you to their crew as well)
-bumble bff (kind of the worst but also fun- I met a few of my close friends on here who then introduced me to their friend groups. Mostly great interactions but be weary of some ppl trying to use it as a sly dating tool)
-get involved in the community! i host a book club and I play soccer on a local rec team. I’ve met so many people that I would’ve probably never encountered otherwise through Bookclub- don’t be afraid of multigenerational friendships! With soccer, I’ve met such a diverse crowd and it’s encouraged me to attempt to learn Spanish. It’s nice to be able to get a group of ppl together and play/practice when you all have a night free, or go and watch a game! If you’re sporty, you can also invite your new sporty pals out for runs, hikes, or other workout type activities!
Aug 20, 2024
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this might be weird, because it seems everyone on this app is incredibly well adjusted, if not just a little odd. i am coming off (i hope) of an almost three week depressive episode, during which i have not run (longest period in two years), watched excessive amounts of (shitty) netflix, and eaten so poorly that i no longer crave vegetables or fruits (this is the most disappointing and surprising). every single thought that i’ve had during this time has been about how it is entirely impossible for me to get out of bed, and that i will never be myself again. i’ve gained an impressive amount of weight, so much so that i hope to god i’m just being overly critical of myself. my skin has dried out, my floors are dusty, and i have more laundry to do than i feel is humanly possible. these past few weeks, my brain has been a miserable place to be.
but today, i got up. i went to learn how to make couscous at a friend’s house, watched as she manned the burners with cartoonish dexterity. hot water rippled into pots, spices flashed in the air, fresh vegetables perfumed the kitchen. we cooked, ate, and hung out with her family until i had to go home and clean for a friend coming in from out of town. it was lovely and cloudy on the walk home. i always miss the sky when i bedrot, and try to at least make it to my roof for sunset and stick my head out the window for sunrise. when i got home, i sat for a little while holding my cat before working. does anyone else do this to try and regulate their mood? i then washed dishes, fixed my broken washing machine, and scrubbed floors until the friend arrived. it’s nice to have a clean house. everyone knows it, so how is it so bloody hard to keep up?
tonight, i went for a walk. i wanted to run, but didn’t intend or expect to get far. i put on a quick one before the eternal worm devours connecticut on repeat. starting slow, feeling the cold. frosty air fogged my glasses. after half a mile, endorphines began to flood my mind. things seemed possible. i could keep running, and, by extension, i could get myself out of this bedrotting cycle. i just kept running, slowly. a mile. keep going. slowly. i usually turn around at 1.5 to make a rough 5k, but i hit 1.75 and wanted to keep on. it was 2 before i decided to turn around. don’t stop. keep going. feel the cold. feel the sweat in your hands, think about the fog that has settled over the town and it’s ugly white lights. i just kept going, trying to push myself to each next landmark. i ended up doing four miles without stopping, something not unheard of, but certainly an achievement for me.
i understand that this might seem stupid and indulgent. but i just want it to be here. i need to mark it down, write it out, prove that i can get better. i can pull myself out of these doldrums. and anyone can. it’s trite and its true. dishes, laundry, and taxes never end, but we do them because we have to. because it’s pleasant to have clean hair and sunlight on your skin. brushed teeth and charged batteries. these responsibilities also help make us feel good. i know this period of inactivity and neglect is not going to be easy to move past, but i will. because i want to feel good. so, even though it seems stupid sometimes, i am going to go on a run tomorrow. i will wash my face and eat some protein. one day at a time, i will get better. my dms are open for anyone struggling or anyone who just wants to talk ❤️🔥
Oct 25, 2024
don’t know if everyone has heard of this and it’s very old news and i should be ashamed. but i found it about ten years ago, and it still my heart. it’s just an anthology of niche emotional experiences from this artist who grew up in switzerland. he collected his made-up terms into a dictionary and published it. it sparked the deepest sense of fancifulness in my preteen heart. i’ve carried certain terms with me to this day, and often return to peruse the words i love so much. one of my proudest moments was, after sharing it with a friend, sending him some of my own inspired by it. he thought they were real words and definitions from it, and i was Very pleased. it’s just fun and cool and neat. be careful to not be in a very longing mood when you go through it.
Sep 29, 2024
i love knowing about people’s lore and still allowing them the catharsis of revealing things about themselves to me. it’s like i’m putting together a sweet mosaic they can’t see. i also love people and their opinions and whims and flights of fancy. we’re all so delicate and full of stupid thoughts we think on the toilet and in traffic. let me sift through the things you like and hear the music that got you through a breakup. it’s friendship
Sep 28, 2024