one of the biggest shocks about growing up was discovering that motherfuckers cannot read minds. I am still shaken up about this.
but what mf can do is learn about you. Communication can and does go beyond just the verbal corrections. It can be body language, the tightness of shoulders or sudden lack of eye contact. its tricky tho, to just go from physical cues alone. a picture paints a thousand words is not actually true, unless the artist explains their point.
For me, when I’m triggered and tensed up — my body is painting the picture of rejection for the other. They might think im angry, or that they did something wrong. But the words i need to hear are ‘you’re safe, of course you feel that way’ instead of ‘what‘s wrong with you’
for me, ive communicated that I like when others pry a bit for my emotions. I’m such an explosion of colours, the observer needs to decipher the blues in a way that makes me feel they care. Which is by asking. I’m not asking them to know what the hell im painting, the brush strokes of my experience, but it goes a long way to talk about it. Even if it just means leaning into the observer and saying ‘could you please get me some water… I’m running dry… ‘
Dec 7, 2024
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Now hear me out, we are all different individuals, which is a very good thing, keeping us all unique from each others, now read that again.
That's the "issue", since we are all unique in our own ways, it means we all had different circumstances which make us think in different ways, so communicate your thoughts very clearly in order to be understood.
Easy as that, there is no magic trick to it or anything, of course we should pick our words carefully to not hurt people or be too harsh on them.
Nevertheless, that's only 50% of the communication, because if the second part doesn't want to understand then you can't do much about it, yes i said doesn't want to understand, because if the communication is clear there is no way they "can't" understand it.
Jan 11, 2025
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i wish people were better at this. big sign of emotional maturity i think is when people are actually capable of this. things happen and if you can’t talk them through what are you meant to do? just let it stew so it gets worse? let it destroy a relationship for no reason? fuck all that. have the conversations so you can reach an understanding. we can’t read eachothers minds man
Jun 10, 2024
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it took me a while to realize this but, communicating doesn’t mean sharing every thought you have and every feeling going through you.
its often best to take some time to assess how you feel, come to a conclusion that you’re confident in, and then share that with whoever you’re conversing with. especially if they play a significant role in your life.
i used to think that by making my internal dialogue and thought process totally transparent, i was just being super communicative - while that might technically be true, sometimes some of our passing thoughts on our way to a final conclusion about how we feel about something might actually be hurtful to the other person if vocalized!!
idk i just felt like sharing this ok 👍🏻
May 29, 2024
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I got my nails done and I realized the star on the index finger makes the nails PI themed. Semi unconscious yet a soft-smile realization while the nail tech was painting the star on.
Dec 18, 2024
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I was celibi-cied for like 3 years after my situationship became an ‘omfg-you-are-a-serial-cheater-on-your-girlfriend-of-four-years!’ Hella afraid of love, intimacy and everything.
over the past few months, I’ve been casual dating for no other means than finding out what I like and don’t like. I’ve had good and bad sex, been given flowers on the first date and then ghosted, moved to the UK and had my first proper one night stand (every other one was too drunken to remember lol) and am currently on my first bae-cation with a man I am slowly falling in love with.
I promise you, dating for fun rather than for long-term involvement is so much more enriching than you think. As you’re floating around, you learn to decenter men and tolerate their mansplaining a lot less. You find out that no, you do not want to make a sex tape on the first date, and then you’ll slowly trickle in the good stuff. Kind men who just listen to you, and are a little different than the other men you’ve seen. You‘ll learn to love being treated kindly, and cherish that above all else story-watching-liking-no game bs.
It’s sounds sooo irritating to say shit like phhh don’t look for it, it’ll come for you!! But girl as annoying as it is… that is the truth of the matter. I don’t know if this guy is my finish
line, but I did just orgasm like 8 times 🙏🏾 I met on hinge, and lowkey ghosted him intially. give the guy in your dms a chance for real ….
Wishing you and your future lover all the best….
p.s copying the other user by attaching a relevant song 😛
Nov 10, 2024
I love British Columbia cos I’m from here. So surreal and beautiful and peaceful.
WEST COAST BEST COAST RAHHHHHH
The pic is from a bat walk I went on yesterday. this shit is literally my backyard #crazyassprivelage
Jul 25, 2024