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Nothing like a visit to sloppy joes to ignite antipathy for your fellow man woman and child. You see how long the line is and how congested it is and begin to project a burning disdain for the anonymous masses that surround you - But its good to lean into the feeling, as long as its unspoken and you dont act like a jerk — let those evil thoughts rip. In a 25 minute wait in line, you can really hash some stuff out And once you check out and have your treasured items. Its time to road rage in the parking lot.
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Feb 1, 2025

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I love to focus all my ire on those who slow down the line in anyway or people who are outwardly being rude or impatient. It’s cathartic.
Feb 1, 2025
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I’m special bc I don’t need Trader Joe’s to bring this out in me I can access it anytime anywhere and I think that’s beautiful 🥹❤️
Feb 1, 2025

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I'm talking Cobble Hill TJ's when the workers have those big signs that tell you where the end of the line is and they're herding you like cattle. When there's so many people that you just join the line upon entry and get to weave through every aisle in a single-file line. This is how every grocery store should work regardless of how many people there are. I promise you there is a natural flow and intended route through the store and it prevents traffics jams and long lines and minimizes your time spent wandering.
Nov 13, 2023
every sunday from 10am to 5pm satan's janitorial staff needs to do a deep cleaning of hell so he sends all his demons and sinners to trader joes in the meantime. i worked there my junior and senior years of high school and people got more violent than i have ever seen over hashbrowns and orange chicken. some days i would be on reg for 4 hours, take a 30 minute lunch break, clean the bathroom for 30 minutes, then go back on reg for another 3 hours. sundays were so horrid that we got paid an extra 10 bucks an hour to come in (i think it was also because tj's got caught union busting but that's neither here nor there). it's already a shitty gig with an even shittier clientele, the least you could do is put the groceries youre buying into a bag yourself. if you don't know how to make double bags, ask!!! the cashier will be more than happy to make them for you. it just makes everything go so much faster
Jan 29, 2024
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nothing fills me with more murderous rage than people not knowing how to act in the grocery store. PICK A SIDE AND STICK TO IT!!!!!!! taking up the WHOLE GODDAMN AISLE!!!!!!!!! bring back spatial awareness!!!!!!!! jesus christ how did you even drive here without crashing???? just bumbling around without a clue in the GODDAMN WORLD!!!!!!
Feb 18, 2025

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lately I’ve found myself going out and punching people in the back of the head, pushing groceries out of peoples’ arms, and kicking people in the stomach. it’s a great reminder that you can find community with others in unconventional ways, and that what can be harmful for other people can often be really fun for me. go out and hurt someone today!
Jan 21, 2025
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Every time i forget my water bottle at the gym I realize how much better and more energized I feel when i rip an intense cardio set without sucking down some stupid water. Especially when i haven’t drank water all day. You unlock a new level of athleticism, perseverance, and stoicism. It makes you sick seeing the sheeple around you drinking their liquid out of their precious little Stanleys and Naglenes. Whats the matter? Baby need his baa baa? Give me a break Stretching before working out sucks too
Jan 28, 2025