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You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

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being boring

i think it’s ok to be boring. to not have anything special unique or interesting going on. i tell myself to find the part of me that i lost - the part i thought was more fun or intriguing or cool, but maybe you lose parts of yourself for a reason. maybe what i’m doing now, the things that make me happy, are the things that are boring. maybe when you tell yourself that what is boring or wrong, you only make the imposter feeling stronger. sometimes i think all you need is someone to think the things you like are cool, no matter how boring or uninteresting they may be. how boring can you or it really be if it makes you happy, and if it gives you meaning.

@elleperk

Feb 16, 2025

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Enjoy the little things

It's funny isn't it, how often we compare ourselves to others when we are looking up and forward. Which is something I think you might be doing, looking forward instead of constantly looking back. To preface I don't know you enough to make any assumption or tell you what to do, but this could be something you can fall back to that's in the back of your head whenever you feel this way! Enjoy the little things! I doubt telling you not to feel this way or keep telling yourself you're awesome would work because they never worked on me, so just enjoy the little moments in life that makes you -- if not smile -- smirk a bit. You saw something that reminds you of a fond memory, you did something new that is small yet unique to you? celebrate those moments because those moments are what makes you inherently you. Someone here also said familiarity of yourself can be a way making you feel lame, but isn't that also such a gift because you are so in tune with yourself? You know what you're doing even if you think they are nothing comparing to others. And ultimately, maybe this could be a starting point for you to create/try/ experiment things too! If you think of yourself so far back already, what's to loose for you to break the status quo? right? Be the dryer sheet that could cause fire and burn down the entire house or something hehe. And if it goes to shit we just won't tell anybody about it. HA! To quote what I've seen somewhere during my lowest low during the pandemic- "There is no one like you, there has never been anyone like you, and there will never be anyone like you. Therefore, be yourself" beep boop bop beep boop

@j_kung

Feb 22, 2024

Top Recs from @starlet

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Accepting the world you were born in no longer exists

Nostalgia is so powerful. And so painful. I’ve made Pinterest boards filled with hundreds of memories and toys and things that shaped my childhood. I’ve made playlists that include only songs that make me feel 6 years old again. I’ve watched movies that bring me the same wonder they did as when I watched them as a child. But nothing will ever truly bring me back there. It’s gone forever. to know that I will never walk the halls of my elementary school building, or try and plant an apple seed in between the slides of the playground, or play tag with my best buddies ever again is something unbearable. life is so short. I miss it all of the time. Adulthood has its perks as well. I never have to ask to go sleep over at a friends house and get told no. I can eat what i want. I can get a kitten if I feel like it. But I miss the simplicity and happiness of being a child. I miss just existing and being okay with that. i miss how I felt when I was 6, but I have to accept that I must leave that behind. Maybe reincarnation is real. Maybe I will live through something like this life again? There is an ache knowing I will never walk the same tiny footsteps as I once did. But alas, I’ll be 19 years from where I’m at now and miss this age just as much as I do then. The ache will take a new shape. And i will continue living on.

@starlet

Feb 12, 2025

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Like what you like without shame

My favorite thing in getting to know new people is finding out the things they enjoy that seem a bit out of character. I think it’s comforting and a bit sexy when not everything that they like has to be “cool” for them to really enjoy it. Being self-assured and knowing your worth is hot. After all, life is too short to try and shape yourself around a mould that doesn’t truly resonate with you. Just enjoy the things that bring you joy without caring if they are basic or lame to others. you can enjoy the band that everyone hates, enjoy the movies that people think are overrated, and wear the shirt that went out of style 5 years ago. true authenticity is a rare trait, always has been. It’s like striking gold when you find that inner peace to just be yourself, regardless of how cringy others find it. Find the peace to like what you like without shame.

@starlet

Feb 20, 2025

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Join a mutual aid group

Mutual aid is a way we can take care of our neighbors! I’d highly recommend looking into joining one in your area. My group that I joined last September has been focused on fighting the anti-homeless legislation and rhetoric that’s been pushed by local representatives in our area. We also have done a couple free community meals, coat drives/distribution, and fundraisers/protests for Palestine 🇵🇸 I’ve made a few friends through this group and it’s been very fulfilling to know im actively doing things to help others in my community!

@starlet

Feb 13, 2025