Related Recs

🤍

You don’t have to love what you’re doing, just love you

Sometimes you won’t love the task you’re doing— you won’t feel that impulse toward it that makes forming a new habit easier or more enjoyable, and that’s hard. If it helps, reframe it as love of your future self— when you get out of bed and make the bed, this is an act of love from your morning to your evening— a fresh bed, and a body that has moved around. When you delete your apps (which is legitimately hard, and designed to feel difficult) you are gifting yourself attention— the apps want your attention because it is valuable! Your time, your energy, your feeling and softness, is valuable— choosing to give it to a future version of yourself, a person who has new skills, or a more developed hobby, because you were doing the hardest, earliest work of dedicating your time. Try starting with two things: get out of bed and make it, and drink a glass of water. If you take vitamins or pills, creating a morning habit out of drinking water is good. If not, it’s still good to hydrate! And making your bed will make it easier to stay out of bed.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2025

1

🔄

Listen to your body and trust a routine

I’ve had periods where I’ve really struggled with this too. Before I give my rec, I want to emphasize that I think we all experience cycles in our behavior where we “make progress” (whatever that means for you!) and then we don’t - and that’s really okay. I would start by figuring out if your body is physically okay. Lethargy/fatigue is a biological response to a lot of different things and it may be the result of unexpected health stuff! So don’t discount a doctor’s visit. But mental health/stress really contributes to this for me, and it is often the biggest thing that breaks my healthy routines. This is where the loop comes in: healthy routines combat stress, but stress breaks up healthy routines. So that first day you start the healthy routine cycle is really important! For me healthy routines start with good sleep hygiene. If you’ve been rotting in bed a lot and your sleep cycle is screwed, re-establishing that may be difficult. I would recommend supplementing your body with physical movement - preferably something rigorous (for your level) but also gives you joy!! No boring gym time - do whatever gives you endorphins. Consistent activity is really key for your body to not fall into a doom loop. And lastly, do the things you need to do to combat your stress. Set yourself up so that you feel you are taking meaningful steps towards progress. Start with the small stuff and don’t discount them!!! Often the small tasks are the ones that break us because they seem innumerable (for me it’s always been folding laundry). But just remember, every small thing you do is progress and that will build your momentum. I believe in ya! You have the power to change this, slowly but surely.

@nadster

May 13, 2024

🛑

do less

or — start really small. And build up from there. Make it sustainable. Delete the excess. like, you start tiny: work out for 3 minutes, meditate for 2 minutes, etc. And then once the basic structure is established, slowly increase the length of each activity. Good book: "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" by Greg McKeown

@mattshawsome

Oct 16, 2024

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

❤️

You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

🤍

transparency is not the same as intimacy

This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.

@nadiyaelyse

May 28, 2024

🔌

Let it die

I like to let my phone die— I often don’t charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If you’re able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room. I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social media— if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing). Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-one— you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our “audience.” Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: “this is what I had for breakfast,” “this is a meme about my mental health,” and we become part of a passive audience in our friend’s lives. We end up feeling like we’ve just seen our friends, because we’re “viewing” their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend. Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.

@nadiyaelyse

Jul 29, 2024