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I used to hate pink growing up so much because my mom used to force me to like it and that internalised in me alot to a point I was always like " I'm not like other girls, I hate girly stuff " I was never mean to people that liked more feminine things but ig I was very envious of them for loving the things they loved so loudly and I was scared to do that.
After going off to college I had the space and privacy to explore what I like and I realised I've always loved being feminine and I've loved girly things forever I just never felt safe enough to voice it. Everything changed when I was allowed to grow and I've grown to voice what I liked better even of people tell me I'm too much I'm not ashamed of it because it took me so long to grow into who I am.
I have glimpses of pink in my room everywhere now and just the sight of it soothes me.
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As a child growing up with brothers and as the fat black kid, i never considered myself feminine. Even when i lost weight in middle school and went to an all girls high school, looking girly or being more āfeminineā was just not something i thought about.
I feel like recently, i wanted to explore that more, as this pull to dress and appear more feminine has become super strong. Having a house to decorate in any way I can, actually starting to feel better about my body to wear skirts again, etc has really influenced me. But my fears are that it may portray trad wife or childās play; Iām nervous of stares or being questioned about my views if i were to give such a strong appearance of a girly woman.
But some of my inspirations have been strolling through vintage creators and small japanese insta accounts with super pink and fluffy aesthetics.
Hopefully i will build up the courage
Jan 5, 2025
Historically, I have been too insecure to be a girl. That pressure of prettiness, of being delicate, of being desirable. I refused to engage. But this year something has shifted. I love cardigans, I want to talk about how I do my hair, I learned how to do make-up. Even though I'm not a model, I adore making myself feel pretty and sexy. I'm falling in love with the culture of feminism, and reclaiming mother earth as a mother. Girlhood is something so insanely precious and now, despite it being so hard, I am so unbelievably grateful I get to experience it. Want to merge my soul with every woman on the planet and scream OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!
Jan 17, 2025
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In cinema, women who take pride in their appearance by investing time in their makeup, hair, and outfits while also indulging in the finer things in life are commonly villainised.
Whether it is loving to splurge on materialistic things, such as expensive clothes and jewellery, handbags, or shoesāthe portrayed women are usually always the antagonist.
Take Highschool musical. Sharpay, a woman who prided herself on her appearance was solely obsessed with status and boys.
The Devil Wears Prada. Andy was portrayed to be less inclined with her appearance and therefore the most ākind-heartedā character within her workplace, while the other ladies who were equally diligent at their jobs and who also worked equally long hours and busted their butts were portrayed to be snubbish and rude. As Andy then moved on to change her appearance, she maintained her self respect but lost it from her partner (to me this heavily reinforced the notion that āboys donāt like women who spend money on their looks blah blah blah they just want a ārealā woman) due to her changing appearance and her dedication to her job.
Legally Blonde. She never did it for herself in the first place, she did it to prove herself to her ex-boyfriend. She ended up becoming an awesome lawyer at the end but I hated that she started off ditsy and they couldnāt even get her character to be somewhat professional for a Harvard Interview tape, really undermining her professionalism.
Grease. Dany loved Sandy. AND SHE STILL CHANGED HER WHOLE STYLE FOR HIM AT THE VERY END.
In these these movies, itās also common for the more ātom-boyishā women to tear down the more āfeminineā women, which in my personal experience unconsciously led me down the same behaviour path while I was in my impressionable teen years. Women so focused on tearing other women down.
For the longest time growing up, I detested the colour pink and I hated wearing makeup and dresses. Instead, I skateboarded and played soccer and video games on my DS and PSP (which I loved to do) while I was secretly jealous of my sisterās pink barbie dolls and sparkly dresses. All these movies that I grew up watching, although I didnāt know it then, looked down on the idea of enjoying the feminine things in lifeāespecially to get a boys attention. As an insecure kid, it really messed me up, thinking the only way I could get a boys attention was rejecting the things I secretly liked. What young girls needed was a mix of representation of strong women while not vilifying a lifestyle. It took a lot of self-reflection and development as well as maturity to unlearn the inherent behaviour patterns that I learnt through the media I was consuming. Especially unlearning the phrase a lot of teen girls are familiar with: āgirls are too much drama.ā
No, girls are not too much drama.
It is okay to like pink, to like makeup and dresses, to be materialistic and enjoy collecting shoes and bags. The right man/partner for you wonāt care what you choose to do with your appearance, but will encourage you to be happy. And most importantly, you will be happy.
As a 23 year old Civil Engineer by trade, women are awesome. No matter their style preference or job choice. I like materialistic things, I get my nails done once a month, and my eyebrows done once a fortnight, and I love to shop for clothes and handbags. But Iād also like to believe this isnāt my soul personality trait, I like to go to the gym, I am a big gamer and I love to read, Iāve been watching anime since I was nine, and playing in the mud on rainy days is still a fun secret hobby of mine.
I also would like to believe that I am a good person who is also good at what I do, and that I also possess my own drives and passions, despite my love for pink and Christian Dior.
Jan 23, 2025
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I didn't think I'd enjoy cooking sm and now that I've finally live by myself , learning to cook has been sm fun. I'm so looking forward to being really good at it so I can cook for all my friends š„°š„°š„°
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I love love love getting drunk with friends ( these were my co workers but I would consider them good friends also :P) honestly it's sm fun. This time also felt special coz I called people over for the forst time ever and it felt so so good to host the entire thing. The more I grow up I realise how imp people are to me and how much I love them. I do miss MY people though. I've gone way too long without seeing my bsf.
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Missed doing graphic liners soooo much. I can't belive I used tk to this for college all the time but now ita drastically gone down since I've started working. But I still obvi do show up looking extra for work q eyeshadow and all but I just missed doing liner stuff ig. Anyways took a bunch of photos todayš„°š„°š„°š„°š„°
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