although i get it, it can make you more pissed in the moment but one day it clicked for me. the people that hurt you probably don't think about you. even though these people arent in your life they still affect you and what they did to you is now your problem and its yours to deal with. i get that when it comes to resentment, it is usually the other person who did you wrong, but that pain isn't shared its just yours. i think once it clicks that you own that pain it is for you to do what you want with it, you have more power over it than you might think! i once thought that me thinking about people that hurt me more than they think about me was a sign i "lost" in a weird way. i thought "doing well" was being the one who doesn't care about the other anymore, but when someones hurt you thats not how it works. i think realising that the pain you feel isnt a tie to someone, its just yours, it gives you more agency. the person that hurt you is probably just going on with life as if nothing happen because the pain that was inflicted is not something you share. not to sound like an asshole but that pain in my experience has been a blessing in disguise. i get it it sucks, lots of lurv girl xoxo
Feb 27, 2025
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Do it for yourself, not because you owe anyone anything
And "tolerate" doesn't mean accept mistreatment, marginalization, disrespect, dishonor, abuse, or anything thereabouts
Other people carry loads of baggage and insecurity and hurt and complexity that is sometimes going to flare out at you in ways that are really truly unfair. You absolutely didn't deserve that crap.
For me this is a revelation: disconnecting other people's lousy beahvior from me, realizing that it is about them, not about me. I don't have to be in relationship with them if it is going to keep hurting me. I don't have to own their unresolved issues. And at the same time I don't have to live a smaller, diminished life because of it.
Jun 3, 2025
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some people do things that are truly unforgivable and only time will heal the pain that those things caused because with time comes memory loss.
for the petty things, they usually don’t know or care that they’re not forgiven and holding onto the thing they did only hurts you because you’re reliving what they did and they probably aren’t.
i’ve forgiven a lot of people for shitty things they’ve done, that doesn’t mean i’ll ever speak to them again. forgiving isn’t always making up with the person, it’s making mental peace with the issue.
Mar 8, 2025
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first things first: u never have to forgive someone if u don’t want to. sometimes there is no reason to not move on from a situation, but that’s still your right. you should take all the time u need to make peace with urself and what happened.
my dad once told me that the worst thing you can do to urself is to wish someone else ill will. giving ur energy and thoughts to a situation or person in a way that doesn’t help you process what happened, but only serves to make u upset, is a disservice to urself and ur time. u deserve to be happy and u deserve peace.
look of it as a way of letting go of the negative thoughts and emotions that that situation causes u. forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean ur justifying what they did, but instead respecting ur right to be happy. u can forgive someone and still not continue that relationship with them. seeing forgiveness as a way to allow urself to grow past a situation and not define urself by it, instead of as a mandatory ritual after someone has wronged you, has helped me to move past people and situations that have hurt me and kept me from growing.
Mar 8, 2025
Top Recs from @llq
just watched this on a whim. was going through a tough time and thought it would help me, but it ended up helping me in the opposite way i thought. its heartbreaking but i think it’s important. i thought it would motivate me to have a thirst for travelling the world and experience all these things but instead it gave me the desire to fix my internal world. don’t get put off by the flashiness of whoever the fuck you follow on instagram and go to therapy. those wine bars in tuscany and clubs in rio mean absolutely nothing if you’re never satisfied. sorry for the sappiness. RIP Anthony Bourdain 🪽
Nov 9, 2024
Apr 26, 2025
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in 2 hours i have undone 15 years of hurt and i finally feel like her again.
Feb 15, 2025