some people do things that are truly unforgivable and only time will heal the pain that those things caused because with time comes memory loss. for the petty things, they usually don’t know or care that they’re not forgiven and holding onto the thing they did only hurts you because you’re reliving what they did and they probably aren’t. i’ve forgiven a lot of people for shitty things they’ve done, that doesn’t mean i’ll ever speak to them again. forgiving isn’t always making up with the person, it’s making mental peace with the issue.

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This 👆Forgiveness is about setting down the anger/hurt in order to make your load lighter and make it easier to move forward.
4d ago
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@ZENLIKEME yes!!
4d ago
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that last sentence is so ridiculously helpful i love u thank you
4d ago
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@YLIANNA ah i’m so glad ur so welcome, really funny u posted the ask bc i was literally talking about forgiveness with my friend yesterday, she said there’s loads of people she hasn’t forgiven and i couldn’t think of anyone i hadn’t, it’s such a misconception that we must be friends with the people we forgive and it’s all about making up. it isn’t !! <33
4d ago

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first things first: u never have to forgive someone if u don’t want to. sometimes there is no reason to not move on from a situation, but that’s still your right. you should take all the time u need to make peace with urself and what happened. my dad once told me that the worst thing you can do to urself is to wish someone else ill will. giving ur energy and thoughts to a situation or person in a way that doesn’t help you process what happened, but only serves to make u upset, is a disservice to urself and ur time. u deserve to be happy and u deserve peace. look of it as a way of letting go of the negative thoughts and emotions that that situation causes u. forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean ur justifying what they did, but instead respecting ur right to be happy. u can forgive someone and still not continue that relationship with them. seeing forgiveness as a way to allow urself to grow past a situation and not define urself by it, instead of as a mandatory ritual after someone has wronged you, has helped me to move past people and situations that have hurt me and kept me from growing.
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i have been in situations where it felt like i needed to be the better person for others to think im not hurt. times when i needed to be around people who hurt me really bad in life. what i learned from that is, some people will never do you dirty again. others will 😂 and when i catch who will hurt me again, i keep them at a distance and don’t invest energy into maintaining anything. forgiveness should not be guaranteed, and its difficult to have people come in your ear to say you need to forgive in order to move on. no you need ti just set boundaries around people who hurt you and move forward with it. there are so many people back in my college days where mutually things were so bad. will i apologize and forgive them? probably not ill just distance myself from those people and they become an afterthought.
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It’s classy and you don’t have to be friends, in fact the person you forgive doesn’t even have to know, it just means you don’t stay mad forever
May 7, 2024

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