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Honestly, it feels kinda liberating 🧘♀️
Most of the people I had on there were my high school friends. Ever since I moved to a different country for uni, we’ve naturally drifted apart. We don’t really keep in touch anymore, whether it’s video calls, texting, or anything else.
I kept it for so long because I thought it would be nice to see what my high school friends were up to and maybe update them on my life too. But after some serious journaling and being honest with myself, I realised there’s really no point in holding on to it anymore.
I was keeping it around to give myself a sense of false hope—hoping that one day we’d reconnect and things would go back to how they were. But deep down, I know the chances of that are pretty slim.
We’ve all moved on and grown in different directions, and that’s okay.
Aug 8, 2024
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Lately I have been daydreaming about deleting Instagram, but everytime I get close to doing it, the same thing always pull me back.
I emigrated to London from Spain for university in 2017 and I haven't moved back since. The feeling of missing out on the goings on back home... It hasn't gone away.
Instagram has become my link to faraway friends. It's how I know when they change their hair, or get a new boyfriend, or get a dog, or break their ankle. Of course I talk to my closest friends now and then but converstaions can loose their informality when you don't see each other often.
The truth is that I don't want to have a deep conversation everytime I talk to friends from back home. The obligatory "How's work? How's your partner? When are you coming back? How's your mother?". It makes me feel that everytime I reach out to one of them they feel obligated to rattle through all these questions. I want to talk about stupid stuff, stuff that doesn't matter, what your Dad said, the fight you had with your sister, that weird thing you saw the other day.
On Instagram I can be a fly on the wall watching all that stupid shit they put on their story and feel like I'm still a part of their life and their a part of mine. But at the same time I know that these snippets I grab now and then are not connections of quality.
Does anyone else who moved away have the same feelings about social media?
Feb 14, 2025
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Honestly deleting social media (especially instagram) has widen my capacity for new Real world things in so many ways. Being more creative, having more original ideas, honestly just more time To think!!! I think the first month was an adjustment because it was like a dopamine cleanse, lots of overthinking and feelings of intense boredom
A lot of the things projected onto me I realized were not even insecurities of my own but harbored in my brain because of tiktok/instagram
I did worry about having FOMO and not seeing what my friends were up to but I can also just text them and ask ??? I feel like instagram especially is a very PASSIVE and superficial way of connecting with people. I definitely feel like my social circle decreased exponentially without it but for the better 🧍♀️
Sep 20, 2024
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about two weeks ago, i deleted all social media from my phone. tiktok, instagram & facebook. i truly think this was one of the best decisions i made. i find myself living my days a little less stressed and i find myself engaging in the world more.
my biggest fear before deleting the apps was that i would be completely out of touch with the world. i did feel like that for the first week, but after the 'detox' i felt better. i still stay in touch with news, i use Reuters and NPR to stay up to date as they are pretty unbiased compared to other news outlets. often i go to a site called allsides where i can see how the news is being reported across the spectrum.
every so often, i'll open instagram on my browser for a little bit and can really only stay on there for like 5 minutes. i no longer see the appeal and quite frankly it stresses me out to be on there. i am not ignorant to the things going on in the world, i have just found joy in finding out about things in a different way. i have linked the allsides website to this post, i think it's worth looking at because it is really interesting to see how different outlets report things.
Feb 2, 2025
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Rejection is the worst thing that can happen, and tbh it isn't really THAT bad.
Sep 2, 2024
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and having to use all my willpower to stop myself from breaking into a spontaneous dance
sun on my skin and shygirl in my ears. #inlovewithliving
May 8, 2024
May 8, 2024
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So, I'm just 10 days away from graduation, and today I was journaling, reflecting on my university journey. It's honestly mind-blowing to realise that I've gone through three years of university without being part of one of those friend groups you see everywhere—those tight-knit circles that attend classes together, study together, eat together. I did all of that solo. It's not to boast or anything; I just can't help but feel like I might have missed out on what many consider "the best part of their uni life."
To be clear, I do have uni friends (all two of them), but it's not like we do things together much. Maybe I'll visit one of them once or twice a month. So yeah, I'm feeling a bit conflicted about it all. And I can already imagine how awkward it might be at the graduation ceremony when everyone else has flowers and gifts, and there I am, standing alone (it's kind of funny to think about, tbh).
Overall, I think I struggle with making friends in general. It's not because I'm standoffish or anything like that; I just take a while to open up and let my guard down. I'm not great at small talk or joking around with people I've just met. Anyway, I'm not sure why I'm writing all this here, but I think I'll copy it into my journal now.
Jun 29, 2024