i find as an unhealed person who doesnât have a good sense of self respect or mindfulness sex kind of causes a lot of problems for me interpersonal and personal.
at least a break in looking at WHY youâre having sex, and what kind of sexual scripts youâre following without even realizing.. what parts of yourself are you reinforcing and/or reducing when you enter sexual situations?
i think sex can be mistaken for intimacy sometimes, is this the form of intimacy that serves you best? what conditions do you think you need to have sex that makes you feel good and genuine? do you feel you have emotional agency in your sex life?
(edit: also! sex is so fucking vulnerable! of course being vulnerable is how you form connections.. but to perform vulnerability is not the same and it happens a lot!)
i also have a lot of personal disgust towards sexual scripts put on by pornography (violence, minors, cnc ect.) the rad fem aspect of sex/porn is a whole nother beast, iâd recommend looking into bdsm ect through that lense if itâs something you are looking for more insight towards. (obviously fuck TERF and try to avoid those rabbit holes, but radical feminism affirmed a lot of theories i had on why sex/sexuality is/are such a point of shame and contention for young people)
ANYWAY, i am only 20 so take this with a grain of salt but i think that naturalism fucks with peoples potential for healthy and fulfilling sex lives, preset scripts about what it should be and what it has been. If the sex youâre having feels wrong it probably is, and you have agency to change that, just take a break and reevaluate.