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"I'm never going to Amsterdam again!" I told my friend after we'd gotten stuck on the subway to her apartment. 'Never' didn't even last four months. I dated a man who lived there, became best friends with his roommate after our breakup, wrote my MA thesis at a legendary Amsterdam research institute. "It was always Amsterdam" for an amazing chapter of my life, despite its unhappy ending - a bit like the Wild Rivers song I listened to on my phone that chilly December day that set it all into motion.
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My favorite song in recent memory.
One I wish I knew about when I went through either of my two breakups.
They both (one more than the other, but both) catalyzed periods of emotional instability, but, crucially, no homicide.
Still, I imagine that anyone who has had their heart broken knows that the song I Am Coming to Paris (To Kill You) is not about going to Paris to kill somebody. Itβs about something much worse.
Sep 10, 2024
"I like you," he told me on a starry night in Mexico. "And I think we'd be great together. Until we go home."
I went back to my hotel room, too overwhelmed by the idea that a man would be interested in me, even if just for two weeks. I took my phone out on the balcony and listened to Affair with the Moon by Lidia Solomon on repeat.
The whole thing between him and me ended in disaster, but for a brief moment, anything seemed possible, like the beginning of a fairytale. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed at night, by big thoughts and bigger feelings, I open my window and listen to Affair with the Moon. And for a brief, melancholic moment, anything will seem possible again.
Jun 9, 2024
This track is the epitome of seduction whilst still being about a break up; coincidentally I'm going through a break up myself and this was one the first tracks I had sent to my ex. life is funny sometimes x
Feb 14, 2024
Top Recs from @envy
I'm a July baby. Growing up, I spent most of my birthdays alone. Some years because my friends had left the country. Some years because I'd left the country. Some years because I had no friends. And with every year passing, the pressure to spend my birthday surrounded by friends and family and to have a good time increased. Every year I felt like a failure when I couldn't make it happen. So I stopped telling people it's my birthday.
But today is my 28th birthday.
Jul 17, 2024
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I hadn't seen my friend since New Year's Eve. Now it was October, her wedding day, and she barely gave me the chance to gush over her gorgeous dress, her makeup, her jewelry.
"You look happier," she said. "Your energy has changed. It's much calmer now. I'm happy for you."
I love her for taking the time out of her special day to notice me like that.
Oct 13, 2024
π
"If the two of you are so good together, why don't you make a move?" my friend asked me in a dream about the guy I was ever so slowly falling for. Those words echoed through my mind for months, from the first date till the final breakup.
Jun 14, 2024