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Sometimes you can just exist. you don’t (hopefully) need 50 hustles. You don’t need to be a writer and musician and artist and podcaster and influencer and girlboss or whatever. you don’t even need to signal how cool or smart or attractive you are. I know it’s hard cause I think our society incentives (forces?) people to be “on” all the time, but it’s probably better for your own sake to just exist for yourself and your love ones and to adjust your expectations of what a successful or meaningful life is.
Sorry for being pedantic, just know a lot of friends and family my age or younger that seem to be struggling right now in all sorts of ways. Just know, regardless of what anyone says or even what you say or do, that you guys have inherent dignity and you are worth something
Oct 9, 2024
Related Recs
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Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise.
So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years.
Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own.
It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media.
All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too.
Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.
Feb 19, 2024
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I don’t think it’s healthy to say “my brand“. What does that even mean. Maybe I’m not internet famous enough to get what that’s all about but im guessing it means to be marketable to other people. To appear cooler than you actually are. If that’s the case don’t do that. Just be you man why the hell do you want to be treated like an object. You breathe. You live.
Mar 14, 2024
It’s incredible how many people genuinely think they are boring. There have been so many times I’ve spoken with people and they confess that they think that they haven’t done much with their life, or that they don’t have much interesting to talk about, but it’s almost never the case.
From what I can tell, it’s often caused by a lack of knowing thyself. Or maybe a low self esteem? I’ve been through it too, and it is so so not true for anyone.
You’ve done so much living. Why do you feel like your story is not worth telling? I know you’ve gone through some crazy shit once or twice. if you really haven’t, what’s stopping you from getting out there and creating stories to talk about? Start small! go to a coffee shop once a week. See if they have any clubs to join, and try that out! you’ll be making memories in NO TIME.
If you have trouble finding meaningful/fun conversation, just remember that the effort must flow both ways. You are merely just working with what the other person is providing you, and if they aren’t giving you anything to work with, it’s not your fault. You aren’t boring, you are just around people who dont vibe with you. And that’s okay! Not every person is going to be your specific kind of person. Plus, if you aren’t having fun talking to them, why does it matter if they like you? the much cooler people who value your input are just around the corner. I promise.
One day you’ll be able to shine your beautiful personality on someone who is equally as bright you are, you magnificent comet, you.
Feb 13, 2025
Top Recs from @oldmanname
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Eat yogurt, kimchi/sauerkraut, miso, kefir, kombucha, pickles, certain soft cheeses cause they’re good for you
I never had a problem shitting I just like funky foods and pretending my gut is a nightclub where all the bacteria are dancing and having a good time like it’s osmosis jones or something
Feb 12, 2024
Feb 13, 2024
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You can eat anything you want whenever you want. The best time for “breakfast food” is actually 7pm-4am. for actual breakfast you should literally make like a sandwich or some soup. Miso soup really hits first thing in the morning. A greasy plate of eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes, etc. is what you get after going out
Feb 24, 2024