I have had to learn to give myself grace and allow myself to grow. I tend to be hard on myself and want to find the quickest way to success. I know success takes time and I must be patient with myself. I am working on comparing myself less and truly trying to work on myself. I've found that getting into a routine has been the most helpful thing I can do for my mental health. I've learned how to say no and set boundaries for myself to avoid burn out. The 20s are such an interesting time, my mantra: you cannot worry about the things you have zero control over <3
Jan 4, 2025
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i used to constantly compare myself to others in my twenties and it made me feel so bad. now i'm in my thirties and i try to shift that focus onto myself by thinking about how i can improve myself by comparing myself to past me!! i def mess up all the time so i can only continue to grow and become more powerful. don't forget to love yourself and have gratitude for the things you are good at. make lists in ur journal of stuff u love abt u :3
Feb 18, 2024
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Adulting is a process. I’m far from having it ”together” but I have gotten better at say, filing taxes on time, balancing school and gym time, cooking, and keeping the house clean. None of these pieces came together at once, it was a process of learning each and making it a habit.
Lifelong learning a part of life. One thing I’ve learned through growing up is greater empathy for my parents. My mom was young when she had me and every time my birthday comes around, I realize how much she was doing at my age. (I don’t have kids, I don’t want kids, I respect people who choose to have kids, that’s incredible but Jesus it’s a LOT of work)
Take it slow. Give yourself room to breathe. Love yourself. You have the rest of your life to perfect your habits and become good at “adulting“.
Jul 6, 2024
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I've almost been in my 30's for 5 years and I've loved it. There's something about it that has been deepening and richening. I focus more on what matters to me, and cultive how I want my life to look. My 20's was wild and chaotic and a lot of hard inner and outer work. I still work hard, but I'm reaping the benefits of it a bit more now. I'm busy yet relaxed. I feel like I did the hard work earlier that I'm now really benefiting from.
When I turned 30 I wrote out 30+ lessons that I learned. I never shared it at the time because it felt egotistical lol, but it's actually pretty good so I'll share it here! Aging is a gift!! Embrace your fully formed brain. You'll always be changing and growing, but you're entering this beautiful space where you're still young and can relate to young folks, but you have enough experience to relate to older folks too. It's a blast!
Mossy Elfie's Hard Earned Lessons from her 20's
1. Laughter is truly the best medicine. KEEP PLAYING!
2. Express love to those you love as often as possible.
3. Learning to communicate effectively is the greatest tool you can have.
4. Being upfront about how you feel may lead to getting hurt, but will 100% benefit you in the long run.
5. There are lessons in every experience. This doesn’t excuse trauma, but can help heal it.
6. Sometimes when a therapist or someone you love calls you out on your shit, you can feel it’s untrue because it actually is, or because you’re being defensive. Learn how to discern between the two.
7. Questioning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs isn’t threatening, even if it feels like it. There’s no harm- if it’s true, it’s true. If not, you can begin to change.
8. It’s true, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important.
9. People are doing the best they can with the tools they have.
10. Listen to actions, not words. Even good people with the best intentions have flaws, and that’s okay.
11. Everyone’s path is different, and it’s so easy to judge. It’s a good idea to learn how to detach from that. Let people live!! Including yourself.
12. Even if it’s bs, having faith the universe has your back provides endless calm and a sense of being loved + protected.
13. Children and animals will heal your soul. Volunteering at an animal shelter is always a good idea. Seriously, go do it.
14. You don’t need to know all the steps or even have a clear end goal, but you do need a vision to work towards and the immediate next step.
15. Friends will come and go- that’s natural. It’s okay to be sad about it. A loss is a loss.
16. If something is consistently making you miserable, that’s a good sign it’s not for you.
17. Go towards what brings you joy, especially regarding vocation. This doesn’t mean it won’t be stressful or annoying at times, but the main feelings should be joy + accomplishment.
18. Despite what the culture tells you there is no timeline or rule book. Do whatever TF you want! But! Be healthy in that.
19. Crying, yelling, breathing, laughing, hugging all helps… a lot. EMOTE.
20. Everyone is working on something different, but we’re all striving for balance.
21. Your body changes constantly. I know the overarching message is to change it, but your body is a miracle. Being alive is a miracle! When you’re feeling down about your body, that’s a sign to give it a ton of love, NOT to try and change it.
22. Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You can forgive someone and not have them in your life.
23. Everyone truly has their own individual experiences, which is equally beautiful and terrifying to me.
24. No one can be forced to change. It only happens when they are ready. It doesn’t matter if all the facts are known, it won’t happen until the internal shift does.
25. BREATHING will help solve every problem. Always begin and come back to deep breaths.
26. Change and growth can be hard. They can be really scary. But it’s not impossible. Everyone has the capacity to change.
27. Having empathy for others allows you to act from a space of love, even in anger. That doesn’t mean being a doormat for people’s behavior, it just means in your anger you’re treating them with love and respect.
28. We are all ever changing, evolving beings. The work never stops- it’s a lifelong process.
29. You have and are going to make a ton of mistakes. You are going to hurt people. Please forgive yourself. No one benefits from you feeling eternally guilty, especially yourself. Take responsibility, have remorse, learn the lesson, and let go.
30. Nothing is permanent, especially feelings and thoughts. Soak up each moment and let it pass. Nothing bad will last forever, but neither will the good. It’s all an ebb and flow so, flow.
31. It’s so important to be honest with how you’ve been wounded. It’s equally important to be honest with how you’ve wounded others. You need to heal from both.
32. Soak up and cherish every moment. Truly, seriously. That is what life is all about- experiences and the way you feel. Even my worst moments, I’ll probably never feel that way again. I treasure it all.
33. My god, life can be so hard. Just be fucking kind to one another.
34. The darkness always fades into light. The light always comes back. I promise.
Dec 3, 2024
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i like to ponder in the shower just like everyone else. tonight's shower ponder had to do with the fact that i'm in the job search process right now and it is so disheartening to have to tailor my resume to every post and just basically do the most for every single job post just to most likely receive a rejection within a few days of applying.
i started thinking about the fact that when people accomplish something difficult in life such as finding a job, owning a house, or finishing education there tends to be 2 types of thinking that come out on the other side. the 1st way of thinking is the "well i did it alone and although it was difficult, i was able to do it alone so i think everyone else should be able to do it alone if they try hard enough" the 2nd way is "i did it alone and it was hard and i recognize that there is a need for support here therefore, i would like to change the system so that other people do not have to go thru the same hardship in the same way i did." not saying that everyone thinks like this, but i feel like these are the 2 common ways of thinking that i've heard.
& basically that was ponder as i sat there waiting to wash out my leave in conditioner.
Jan 18, 2025
this is me with my aunt's dog! she has eye lashes and always has the little bow in her hair. i hope this can cheer you up a little! :3
Jan 21, 2025
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congratulations on your senior year that's amazing! for me college was the best experience but i truly believe it is what you make of it. i took my 1st semester easy & luckily i had a great roommate that accompanied me to all types of social events i could find on our school's event board. going to social events helped me make friends & helped even decide classes i wanted to take outside my required classes.
my 2nd semester i started to get more serious about my club involvement & ended up on executive board positions which truly have helped me now that i'm graduated & in the professional field. aside from clubs and social involvement, i loved my classes & took a few classes outside my major that helped expand my knowledge & kind of made me more well rounded. ik college isn't for everyone but for me, it exposed me to new ways of thinking i don't think i would've been exposed to. it also expanded my professional network which will and has helped with job prospects.
i now regularly stay in contact with my friends from college & although we're in complete different parts of the world, we schedule weekly facetimes & find ways to visit each other every so often.
p.s. sorry this was long! i loved my experience and love sharing it with others because i truly believe college expands your knowledge, if you ever need advice on the application process or want to know anything else please reach out!! i wish you the best of luck on whatever journey you decide to take! <3
Jan 19, 2025