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Yesterday I wanted to die and had no desire to do anything. Today? I want to go dance on the street! wtf is up with that šŸ•µšŸ½ā€ā™€ļø
Feb 5, 2025

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The dichotomy of being alive šŸ¤øā€ā™€ļø
Feb 5, 2025
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this explains my time here on earth so well
Feb 5, 2025
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impermanence! all feelings are just weather and it will pass! happy to hear the clouds have parted for you today
Feb 5, 2025
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me when i have BPD. (not saying you do tho, but I do hehe)
Feb 5, 2025
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take comfort dear child you think you fear you feel
Feb 5, 2025

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Had the weirdest work day where I thought the day would go one way and went the opposite direction which sucked!! But then I just turned all the lights off, put my headphones on and set a timer for 20 minutes and truly danced like no one was watching. Healed.
Mar 9, 2024
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My shoulders flick, my arm twitches, foot taps, now my leg is moving, both legs in factā€”and my whole body is following suitā€”swinging and swaying, headphones are in or the speaker is blaring, John on vocalsā€”ā€œwait, oh yes, wait a minute, Mr. Postmanā€ā€”George on lead guitar, Paul backing and laying down heavy bass lines, Ringo slashing at the drum: ā€œMr. Postman, look and see, see if thereā€™s a letter there for meā€ā€”and now Iā€™m in full dance, leaning and hopping, doing the lawnmower, the ice skater, the hot coals, inventing new moves, absolutely owning the moment, slaughtering the moment, absolutely beating it to death, thereā€™s never been another dance moment like thisā€”ā€œyou gotta wait a minute, oh yeah, wait a minute, oh yeahā€ā€”and then itā€™s over and Iā€™m done and Iā€™m moving on, as if nothing happened, no one knows, but I know and it did happen, it definitely happened, a joyful moment, a moveable feast: every second a gift.
Dec 20, 2024
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Back in the spring/summer of 2020, I helped tether myself to reality by dancing. I woke up and danced. I ate lunch and danced. I danced into the evening. Every day was filled with me dancing mostly alone in my living room. I shared a lot of my dancing on instagram, most of it to close friends only. As we were all in the thick of it together, it didn't feel weird to do so. Something that would feel egotistical and embarrassing now was acceptable then. I would love to share my dancing once again, but the path has yet to reveal itself. I am always navigating the balance of wanting to be private and wanting to be seen on the internet. One day, maybe, you'll find me on here willing to bare my dancing soul. Until then, I look back to those mainly awful months of 2020 with gratitude for the virtual connection I was able to have.

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I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones who would never need LinkedIn. Well I am on it now and I only have 13 connections and I feel like the biggest loser in the app šŸ˜ƒ
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