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Before I sleep I tend to imagine a future in which I meet the love of my life who just makes all the time I spent ”waiting” worth it. I fall asleep thinking on things that aren’t so out of reach still THEY ARE NOT HERE. Other times during the day I think about what has happened, all the things that have brought me to where I am. I just realized I’m never here! In the now, in the whatever is going on where I’m standing. I live in places that don’t exist with people that are not real! Yes in theory I might know them but in my head both in the memories and in my made up senarios they are not them. They are what I want them to be… they are an extension of me and what I think they should be. I think the now requires me to lose the control I have in my made up worlds, and that might be too scary for me now.
Feb 7, 2025
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Not to go too deep on the subject, however, the brain is so strong.
How can i explain to myself that whatever i experience during my dream is not real.
What i am talking about is the emotion, the warmth of being loved by someone who was just made up by my own mind, the whole story line, the whole happiness and joy i've felt during it and the emptiness that i've felt once i woke up.
Even the smallest touch felt so real ...
A feeling of missing someone that i knew for so long yet none of it was real...
Jan 11, 2025
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i honestly only imagine scenarios for characters that only exist in my mind
Jan 20, 2025
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sometimes I feel like I live more in my dreams than in the physical- fabricating reality helps make the liminal space so flagrantly present in my twenties less unsettling
#growingpains
Jan 17, 2025
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Yesterday I wanted to die and had no desire to do anything. Today? I want to go dance on the street! wtf is up with that 🕵🏽♀️
Feb 5, 2025
doomscrolling through tt and stumbled with this article and decided to read it. Now I want to throw my phone away and get a blackberry or some other stupidly rudimentary electronic device😭 that allows me to actually experience THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE.
Jan 30, 2025
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I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones who would never need LinkedIn. Well I am on it now and I only have 13 connections and I feel like the biggest loser in the app 😃
Feb 2, 2025